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Some people say that a person's success depends on his or upbringing by parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience. v.1

Some people say that a person's success depends on his or upbringing by parents. Give your opinion and examples from your own experience. v. 1
Having said by many that nowadays movies can be watched on smart phones, therefore going to the cinema is unnecessary, along with others I however, believe that if movies are not watched in a movie theatre, total enjoyment will not be achieved. To begin with, recent advancement in technology has made it possible to watch the movies on gadgets. Firstly, it is far more comfortable to watch a film anytime and anywhere. To explain, it is globally witnessed that people watch movies on their gadgets while travelling around, as well as at home while relaxing in a living room. Secondly, this way it is cheaper, also pause and rewind are options to use according to the situation. For example, people pay monthly rental of 129 rupees to buy Amazon prime videos to watch movies when commuting to work, and if they reach to work, the film can be paused, along with pause, rewind is used to understand any missed scene or dialogue. On the other hand, watching movies on the big screen is another level of fun and enjoyment. To begin, Going to a movie theatre is associated with excitement and delight. For example, work colleagues, friends and families tend to hang out to have fun and total joy, which is indeed experienced in a cinema hall. Furthermore, Dolby sound system, dark atmosphere, and big screen as well as whole atmosphere bring thrill and joy, which is certainly not achieved while watching films on gadgets. Needless to say, watching movies in a movie theatre is a better option than watching it on smart phones or tablets, especially when the intention is purely for a complete pleasure. In conclusion, both views have their own benefits. In my view, despite watching movies on smart phones is cheaper and can be managed with own pace and time, watching it in a cinema hall gives total enjoyment, thereby it is worth watching it on big screen.
Having said by
many
that nowadays
movies
can be
watched
on smart phones,
therefore
going to the cinema is unnecessary, along with others I
however
, believe that if
movies
are not
watched
in a
movie
theatre
, total enjoyment will not
be achieved
.

To
begin
with, recent advancement in technology has made it possible to
watch
the
movies
on gadgets.
Firstly
, it is far more comfortable to
watch
a film anytime and anywhere. To
explain
, it is globally witnessed that
people
watch
movies
on their gadgets while travelling around,
as well
as at home while relaxing in a living room.
Secondly
, this way it is cheaper,
also
pause and rewind are options to
use
according to the situation.
For example
,
people
pay monthly rental of 129 rupees to
buy
Amazon prime
videos to
watch
movies
when commuting to work, and if they reach to work, the film can
be paused
, along with pause, rewind is
used
to understand any missed scene or dialogue.

On the other hand
, watching
movies
on the
big
screen is another level of fun and enjoyment. To
begin
, Going to a
movie
theatre
is associated
with excitement and delight.
For example
, work colleagues, friends and families tend to hang out to have fun and total joy, which is
indeed
experienced in a cinema hall.
Furthermore
, Dolby sound system, dark atmosphere, and
big
screen
as well
as whole atmosphere bring thrill and joy, which is
certainly
not achieved while watching films on gadgets. Needless to say, watching
movies
in a
movie
theatre
is a better option than watching it on smart phones or tablets,
especially
when the intention is
purely
for a complete pleasure.

In conclusion
, both views have their
own
benefits. In my view, despite watching
movies
on smart phones is cheaper and can
be managed
with
own
pace and time, watching it in a cinema hall gives total enjoyment, thereby it is worth watching it on
big
screen.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Some people say that a person's success depends on his or upbringing by parents. Give your opinion and examples from your own experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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