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Some people say modern innovations brings a lot of problems than benefits? Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say modern innovations brings a lot of problems than benefits? v. 1
At the present time, it is sometimes believed that new artifices have a tendency to a negative effect rather than positive. I disagree with this and will extend my opinion. Firstly, this essay will discuss Inventions was aimed at improving the standard of daily life, the secondly, it will analyse the safeness of human-being. The primary reason why the latest discoveries lead welfare is that people apply them to have an easier and more comfortable life in the long run. Moreover, a number of machines are invented which helps humanity or replace human for chorus works. If it were not for using new advancements technology, it would not improve human life. For example, having carried out research among users of innovations, a scientist has revealed that the last five years vacuum cleaner had significant modification functional changes, compere the time when it was invented. Yet another point to consider is that these inventions could provide a secure life for a patient as a golden opportunity. Hence, patients suffering from critical diseases such as cancer, diabetes, hard attack, and more could be completely support new devices. Rarely do people realize the importance of applying modern technological equipment for long-suffering people. For instance, in 2016, in France, by 18 % heart attack decrease due to the government hospitals were provided new medical machines for controlling of suffering people from a heart attack compared the previous years. In conclusion, I am firmly convinced that the latest discoveries have a meaningful effect on an individual’s life. The reason for this is that they increase comfort, convenience, and safety.
At the present time, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
artifices have a tendency to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. I disagree with this and will extend my opinion.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss Inventions
was aimed
at improving the standard of daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, the
secondly
, it will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the safeness of human-being.

The primary reason why the latest discoveries lead welfare is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
apply them to have an easier and more comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the long run.
Moreover
, a number of machines
are invented
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
humanity or replace human for chorus works. If it were not for using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "advancements'" or "advancement's"?
advancements
technology, it would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, having carried out research among users of innovations, a scientist has revealed that the last five years vacuum cleaner had significant modification functional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
,
Did you mean the verb "compare" or the noun "compère" (master of ceremonies)?
compere
the time when it
was invented
.

Yet
another point to consider is that these inventions could provide a secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for a patient as a golden opportunity.
Hence
, patients suffering from critical diseases such as cancer, diabetes,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
attack, and more could be completely support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
devices. Rarely do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
realize the importance of applying modern technological equipment for long-suffering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, in 2016, in France, by 18 % heart attack decrease due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
hospitals
were provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
medical machines for controlling of suffering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from a heart attack compared the previous years.

In conclusion
, I am
firmly
convinced that the latest discoveries have a meaningful effect on an individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
The reason for this is
that they increase comfort, convenience, and safety.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say modern innovations brings a lot of problems than benefits? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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