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Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? v.1

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? v. 1
Today there is a big debate about whether it is important to keep our homes and places of work clean and organized. First, I will talk about why I think it is important to keep our living places clean and then I will go on to explain why this is also true for our work environments. To begin, it is essential to keep a clean house for several reasons. Firstly, it sets a good example for our children who look up to us for guidance and as role models, so when we demonstrate the skills necessary for success in life, we set our children up for success. For example, my 3 year old son plays at making his own bed after watching his mother and me makes ours. Furthermore, having a neat home helps with time management; take car keys, for instance, if they are always returned to their proper place when not in use, there will never be that panicked, stressful time wasted in frantically looking for them when it’s time to go somewhere. Finally, when our homes are clean it ensures health and safety. To explain, when our kitchens and bathrooms are hygienic, it prevents the contamination of our food and daily items with infectious organisms like e-coli or salmonella, which can do us harm. Second, when it comes to office and work space, it is equally important for them to be kept clean. The first reason is that we promote harmony with co-workers if we are neat. No one likes to share space with a so called ‘slob’ For example, in my previous office, there was a huge issue resulting from a co-worker's lack of cleanliness which resulted in the office having to be fumigated after cockroaches had colonized the man’s desk. Next, organizational skills at work result in ‘climbing the corporate ladder’ as they say. Bosses notice well organized and prepared staffers at promotion time, and those are the mice that get the cheese. For instance, I was once passed over for promotion in favour of someone with less experience because of my habit of leaving things to the last minute and not being prepared, this is what is referred to as ‘learning things the hard way. ’ Now I make sure to dot all my ‘i’s and cross all my ‘t’s. In conclusion, when it comes to cleanliness at home and work, I agree with the old saying that it is next to godliness, and that it is very important to ensure we are clean and organized in both places.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
debate about whether it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
and organized.
First
, I will talk about why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
and then I will go on to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why this is
also
true for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environments.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, it is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for several reasons.
Firstly
, it sets a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for our children who look up to us for guidance and as role models,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when we demonstrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
necessary for success in life, we set our children up for success.
For example
, my 3 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
son plays at making his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
bed after watching his mother and me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
ours.
Furthermore
, having a neat home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management; take car keys,
for instance
, if they are always returned to their proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
when not in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, there will never be that panicked, stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wasted in
frantically
looking for them when it’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go somewhere.
Finally
, when our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
it ensures health and safety. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, when our kitchens and bathrooms are hygienic, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
the contamination of our food and daily items with infectious organisms like
Possible spelling mistake found.
e-coli
or salmonella, which can do us harm.

Second, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to office and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
space, it is
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for them to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
. The
first
reason is that we promote harmony with co-workers if we are neat. No one likes to share space with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
called ‘slob’
For example
, in my previous office, there was a huge issue resulting from a co-worker's lack of cleanliness which resulted in the office having to
be fumigated
after cockroaches had colonized the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
’s desk.
Next
, organizational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
result in ‘climbing the corporate ladder’ as they say. Bosses notice well organized and prepared staffers at promotion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and those are the mice that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the cheese.
For instance
, I was once passed over for promotion in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of someone with less experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my habit of leaving things to the last minute and not
being prepared
, this is what
is referred
to as ‘learning things the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
way. ’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure to dot all my ‘i’s and cross all my ‘t’s.

In conclusion
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to cleanliness at home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
saying that it is
next
to godliness, and that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to ensure we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clean
and organized in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
425 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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