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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic? What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.40

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic? What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 40
In recent years, there has been a remarkable growth in tourism in remote places where the climatic conditions are harsh. Although, visiting to these places have many advantages, but there are also a few drawbacks. This essay will discuss both the points one by one. The first advantage of visiting these areas are people getting recognition in society. This is because, after they came from a visit, they upload these pictures in social media and thus, they get recognition from society. This will also help in building their self-confidence. Secondly, going for a trip to remote locations needs a fit and fine body. Therefore, people prepare themselves at least six months in advance for such trip, which result in maintaining the proper body mass index. Lastly, these trips make new and long lasting friends. For example, a result of a survey conducted by The Times magazine was that eighty percent of the people who went for hiking in Himalaya they are still in touch and also completed two more treks in just one year. On the contrary, the prime disadvantage for such treks are these places have lack of medical professional which result in permanent health issues. This is because, there are many incidents reported like ankle injury and cold burn during the Antarctic trip that need immediate medical attention. But due to lack of such facilities, those injured people had to discontinue their journey and sometimes lead to permanent damage to body parts. Secondly, these trips may be fatal for weak heart tourists. In an instance, there was a seventy percent death recorded among people who are above fifty years in 2019 who went to visit to the Arctic. Thirdly, some tourists do not handle such harsh weather and because of that they have to discontinue their journey. In conclusion, remote tourism may have many benefits and drawbacks. But one should always keep in mind to all the negatives and be prepared for the worst before leaving for such trips so that tourists can enjoy their lifetime experience.
In recent years, there has been a remarkable growth in tourism in remote places where the climatic conditions are harsh. Although, visiting to these places have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
a few drawbacks. This essay will discuss both the points one by one.

The
first
advantage of visiting these areas are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting recognition in society. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, after they came from a visit, they upload these pictures in social media and
thus
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
recognition from society. This will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in building their self-confidence.
Secondly
, going for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to remote locations needs a fit and fine body.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prepare themselves at least six months in advance for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
, which result in maintaining the proper body mass index.
Lastly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
friends.
For example
, a result of a survey conducted by The Times magazine was that eighty percent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who went for hiking in Himalaya they are
still
in touch and
also
completed two more treks in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one year.

On the contrary
, the prime disadvantage for such treks are these places have lack of medical professional which result in permanent health issues. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
incidents reported like ankle injury and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
burn during the Antarctic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
that need immediate medical attention.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
due to lack of such facilities, those injured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to discontinue their journey and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
lead to permanent damage to body parts.
Secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
may be fatal for weak heart tourists. In an instance, there was a seventy percent death recorded among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are above fifty years in 2019 who went to visit to the Arctic.
Thirdly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tourists do not handle such harsh weather and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
discontinue their journey.

In conclusion
, remote tourism may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits and drawbacks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
one should always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind to all the negatives and
be prepared
for the worst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
leaving for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that tourists can enjoy their lifetime experience.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic? What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 40

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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