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Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? v.8

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? v. 8
There is no doubt that cleanliness brings the fortune; this is why all the holly places are well maintained. Relatively, the majority of people believe that it is essential to keep our workplaces and home well organised and clean. In my opinion, a person should keep his surrounding and working place intact and fresh. Firstly, a sophisticated place creates harmony and positivity, because of that a person tends to have a more focused mind toward the work. For instance, every corporate office has specific benchmarks of uniform pattern, equipment placement order and interior colour theme in the job area, which builds a better sense of responsibility. If all offices have an untidy trend, then the production level will fall drastically. What is more, by following strict rules of high-end management, companies have achieved a higher brand value in the market. Secondly, appropriately placed items give a negligible chance of misplacement. A hardware engineer has to undergo the stressful phase while assembling a new computer because it requires several small equipment’s to connect in a well-synchronised manner, which is only possible if he keeps every element in the right order. Additionally, this will also save an immense amount of time for the higher production of the company on bulk orders. To sum up, tidy places fill the human mind with happiness and calmness and increase the production Quantity. A well-organised fashion at the workplace will not save time for workers but also, fill the surrounding with a positive vibe and harmonious environment.
There is no doubt that cleanliness brings the fortune; this is why all the holly
places
are well maintained.
Relatively
, the majority of
people
believe that it is essential to
keep
our workplaces and home
well organised
and clean. In my opinion, a person should
keep
his surrounding and working
place
intact and fresh.

Firstly
, a sophisticated
place
creates harmony and positivity,
because
of that a person tends to have a more focused mind toward the work.
For instance
, every corporate office has specific benchmarks of uniform pattern, equipment placement order and interior
colour
theme in the job area, which builds a better sense of responsibility. If all offices have an untidy trend, then the production level will fall
drastically
.
What is more
, by following strict
rules
of high-
end
management,
companies
have achieved a higher brand value in the market.

Secondly
,
appropriately
placed items give a negligible chance of misplacement. A hardware engineer
has to
undergo the stressful phase while assembling a new computer
because
it requires several
small
equipment’s to connect in a
well-synchronised
manner, which is
only
possible if he
keeps
every element in the right order.
Additionally
, this will
also
save an immense amount of time for the higher production of the
company
on bulk orders.

To sum up, tidy
places
fill the human mind with happiness and calmness and increase the production Quantity. A
well-organised
fashion at the workplace will not save time for workers
but
also
, fill the surrounding with a
positive
vibe and harmonious environment.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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