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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.11

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 11
People have different opinions about whether it is the responsibility of parents to teach children good manners to make them a better societal member or the school could be an adequate place to learn such things. This essay will discuss about both these views on this contentious topic, followed by my own take on this matter. On the one hand, people, underscoring the importance of parents’ role in making their children a good member of society assert that parents are the first teachers for their offspring. For Example, during the initial years of a child, only mother teach him all the basic traits such as respect, honesty, obedience and so on. Learning certain things from parents definitely assist children in building a good personality, and developing certain characteristics and principles in life that makes them a better social person. Moreover, parents also act as a role model for their children, and the guidance provided by their elders always appreciated as they like to walk on their footprints. In addition, parents usually know about all the likes and dislikes of their children and give them advice about everything accordingly. On the other hand, due to the hectic work schedule of parents in this fast-paced working environment, they remain unavailable in homes, and usually do not have sufficient time to instruct their children. Then it becomes the duty of the schools to train children and build their personality as a good human being. For instance, in schools, nowadays, many volunteering sessions are organized to teach children to help the community, so when children spent most of their daytime hours in school they easily learn all the social traits and practise them very effectively under the supervision of their mentors. Also, participating in these events certainly assist them in learning discipline, improving communication skills and doing some social work in the community. These exceptional qualities and community work experience, make a positive impact on their CV and open doors for better future career prospects. In conclusion, there is nothing wrong to say that both parents and schools have an equal role in developing good personality and teaching social traits to children. Hence, it is completely unjustifiable to consider only one side of the viewpoint because both have their own significance and distinctive role in the life of children.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about whether it is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them a better societal member or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
could be an adequate place to learn such things. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss both"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about both
these views on this contentious topic, followed by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
take on this matter.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, underscoring the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in making their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member of society assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the
first
teachers for their offspring.
For Example
, during the initial years of a child,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mother teach him all the basic traits such as respect, honesty, obedience and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Learning certain things from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
definitely assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
personality, and developing certain characteristics and principles in life that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
person.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
act as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
model for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and the guidance provided by their elders always appreciated as they like to walk on their footprints.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
usually
know about all the likes and dislikes of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and give them advice about everything
accordingly
.

On the other hand
, due to the hectic work schedule of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced working environment, they remain unavailable in homes, and
usually
do not have sufficient time to instruct their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Then it becomes the duty of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and build their personality as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
human being.
For instance
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
volunteering sessions
are organized
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the community,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spent most of their daytime hours in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they
easily
learn all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
traits and
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effectively
under the supervision of their mentors.
Also
, participating in these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
certainly
assist them in learning discipline, improving communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
work in the community. These exceptional qualities and community work experience,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on their CV and open doors for better future career prospects.

In conclusion
, there is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to say that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have an equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
personality and teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
traits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Hence
, it is completely unjustifiable to consider
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one side of the viewpoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significance and distinctive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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