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Some people say death penalty should not be given even to murderers. They are of the option that putting in prison for a long time is a better way of punishment. What is your opinion? v.1

Some people say death penalty should not be given even to murderers. They are of the option that putting in prison for a long time is a better way of punishment. What is your opinion? v. 1
It is commonly believed that the violent content shown on TV and in the cinema, which are the two most favourite source of entertainment, affect the mindset and actions of our youth. Therefore, I agree with the fact that it is the major cause of the surge in the amount of violence around us. Firstly, the society has witnessed a major change in the programmes shown on televisions and in the theatres over the past two decades. This can be easily exemplified with the recent stats which depict a change of 70 percent has been observed in the episodes of television shows during the last 10 years, with a major change in the broadcasting, which is now more inclined towards the adult-featured content. In my opinion, the shows broadcasted on our televisions and the movies released in the cinemas are no longer suitable to be watched together with the families as they mostly contain pornographic, violent and scenes related to crime, which further impacts the thinking of a young individual, for whom all such shows are easily accessible on the press of a button. For instance, now-a-days, the lyrics and the videos shot by the artists talk mainly about the drugs and weapons. The immature mindset of the children fails to differentiate between the fabricated lies shown in these tracks and real life. Hence, it results in more violence as they try to imitate the artists by considering them as their idols. In a nutshell, the episodes or movies shown on the TV and in the cinemas should undergo various levels of screening by the censor board. Also, parents, who play an indispensable role in fostering a child and building his/her character, should filter the TV programmes for their children and teach their children about the difference between the reality and fantasy. This can surely help each one of us to build a better society to live in.
It is
commonly
believed that the violent content shown on TV and in the cinema, which are the two most
favourite
source of entertainment, affect the mindset and actions of our youth.
Therefore
, I
agree with the fact that
it is the major cause of the surge in the amount of violence around us.

Firstly
, the society has witnessed a major
change
in the
programmes
shown on televisions and in the
theatres
over the past two decades. This can be
easily
exemplified with the recent stats which depict a
change
of 70 percent has
been observed
in the episodes of television
shows
during the last 10 years, with a major
change
in the broadcasting, which is
now
more inclined towards the adult-featured content.

In my opinion, the
shows
broadcasted on our televisions and the movies released in the cinemas are no longer suitable to be
watched
together with the families as they
mostly
contain pornographic, violent and scenes related to crime, which
further
impacts the thinking of a young individual, for whom all such
shows
are
easily
accessible on the press of a button.
For instance
,
now
-a-days, the lyrics and the videos shot by the artists talk
mainly
about the drugs and weapons. The immature mindset of the children fails to differentiate between the fabricated lies shown in these
tracks
and real life.
Hence
, it results in more violence as they try to imitate the artists by considering them as their idols.

In a nutshell, the episodes or movies shown on the TV and in the cinemas should undergo various levels of screening by the censor board.
Also
, parents, who play an indispensable role in fostering a child and building his/her character, should filter the TV
programmes
for their children and teach their children about the difference between the reality and fantasy. This can
surely
help
each one of us to build a better society to
live
in.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say death penalty should not be given even to murderers. They are of the option that putting in prison for a long time is a better way of punishment. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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