Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.11

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. v. 11
Over the last half century the pace of change in the life of human beings has increased beyond our wildest expectations. This has been driven by technological and scientific breakthroughs that are changing the whole way we view the world on an almost daily basis. This means that change is not always a personal option, but an inescapable fact of life, and we need to constantly adapt to keep pace with it. Those people who believe they have achieved some security by doing the same, familiar things are living in denial. Even when people believe they are resisting change themselves, they cannot stop the world around them from changing. Sooner or later they will find that the familiar jobs no longer exist, or that the ‘safe’ patterns of behaviour are no longer appropriate. However, reaching the conclusion that change is inevitable is not the same as assuming that ‘change is always for the better’. Unfortunately, it is not always the case that new things are promoted because they have good impacts for the majority of people. A lot of innovations are made with the aim of making money for a few. This is because it is the rich and powerful people in our society who are able to impose changes (such as in working conditions or property developments) - that are in their own interests. In conclusion, I tend to think that change can be stimulating and energising for individuals when they pursue it themselves, but that all change, including that which is imposed on people, does not necessarily have good outcomes.
Over the last half century the pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in the life of human beings has increased beyond our wildest expectations. This has
been driven
by technological and scientific breakthroughs that are changing the whole way we view the world on an almost daily basis. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is not always a personal option,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an inescapable fact of life, and we need to
constantly
adapt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with it.

Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe they have achieved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
security by doing the same, familiar things are living in denial. Even when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe they are resisting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
themselves, they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the world around them from changing. Sooner or later they will find that the familiar jobs no longer exist, or that the ‘safe’ patterns of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
are no longer appropriate.

However
, reaching the conclusion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is inevitable is not the same as assuming that ‘
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is always for the better’. Unfortunately, it is not always the case that new things
are promoted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impacts for the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
innovations
are made
with the aim of making money for a few. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the rich and powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in our society who are able to impose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
(such as in working conditions or property developments)
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
that are in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interests.

In conclusion
, I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
can be stimulating and
Possible spelling mistake. 'energising' is British English.
energising
for individuals when they pursue it themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, including that which
is imposed
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, does not
necessarily
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
outcomes.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts