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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.29

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 29
Most people assume that parents ought to teach children how to be nice organs of communities. But the majority of people rely on that school is the place to study that. For an introduction firstly, I can say studying that how to be good members of society would be the beautiful option with classmates for children furthermore they would be able to learn together and moreover amazingly have unforgettable memories of their life. Secondly, unfortunately, that would be so hard for teachers to teach how to be glad members of collective and additionally for learners to albeit learn being well organs of association in my opinion. By the same we must take into account teachers, they have their families and they must teach to their children they are humans and also have some responsibilities. Maybe, teachers would not have the leisure period for their daughters or sons and families. Further, this would be so hard which teachers teach to children. Because, appropriate school has all types of people besides 30+ classes and every class have 27+ children and it is so much, maybe they would irritate one another, that's why learning to be a decent person would be crucial and effortful together. For instance, our teachers tried to teach something to us hardly in our classrooms, because our classmates were 35+ and our teachers did not have spare freedom for their children and families. Thirdly, where is this child's parent, actually, teachers are parents too and all of the parents must have their responsibilities and teach to be ethical of society. Accordingly likely all of the parents are teacher they know cleaning, what is possible to ameliorate when their daughters or sons are ill. Hence I say all of the parents are teacher and also doctors they can teach their children for their future. And this point everything up to parents and in my opinion parents can give to their children the better nurture rather than teachers. Therefore, parents always have freedom to teach improvements. For example, my mother had given me the best bringing up rather than others for 17 years not just my teachers. İn conclusion, my point of views says the best option is learning from parents. Consequently on the one hand learning with your friends and classmates is so happy, but on the other hand teachers do not have spare free time for their families. As a result, my own opinion says parents teach to their children to be the ideal person in the world for their future.
Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be nice organs of communities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rely on that school is the place to study that.

For an introduction
firstly
, I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
say
studying that how to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
members of society would be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
option with classmates for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
furthermore
they would be able to learn together and
moreover
amazingly
have unforgettable memories of their life.
Secondly
, unfortunately, that would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
how to be glad members of collective and
additionally
for learners to albeit learn
If 'learn' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to be".
being
well organs of association in my opinion. By the same we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take into account
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, they have their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
families and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
they are humans and
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
responsibilities. Maybe,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
would not have the leisure period for their daughters or sons and families.
Further
, this would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, appropriate school has all types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
besides
30+ classes and every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
have 27+
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much, maybe they would irritate one another, that's why learning to be a decent person would be crucial and effortful together.
For instance
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
tried to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
something to us hardly in our classrooms,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our classmates were 35+ and our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
did not have spare freedom for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and families.

Thirdly
, where is this child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
, actually,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
too and
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have their responsibilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
to be ethical of society.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Accordingly
likely
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
they know cleaning, what is possible to ameliorate when their daughters or sons are ill.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
say
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
and
also
doctors they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for their future. And this point everything up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can give to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the better nurture
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always have freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
improvements.
For example
, my mother had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
me the best bringing up
rather
than others for 17 years not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
my teachers.

Possible spelling mistake found.
İn
conclusion, my point of views
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
says
the best option is learning from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. C
onsequently
on the one hand learning with your friends and classmates is s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
o
happy, b
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ut
o
n the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
do not have spare free time for their families. A
s a result,
my o
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
wn
opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
says
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be the ideal person in the world for their future.
21Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 29

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
422 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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