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Some people prefer to rent accommodations while others buy their own home. Does renting a house or apartment have more advantages than buying one? v.1

Some people prefer to rent accommodations while others buy their own home. Does renting a house or apartment have more advantages than buying one? v. 1
In many countries, residents still prefer to buy a home, while the people of industrialized nations are seen inclined towards renting an apartment. I believe that renting accommodation has more benefits than buying it. Considering firstly the negatives of renting a house, an important one is that this kind of accommodation does not provide an opportunity for personalization. This is because the house is usually designed by the homeowners and any customization of wall colours and cabinets would jeopardize the terms of an agreement between the tenant and the landlord. Contrast this with homeowners who have the freedom to beautify their living space, both internally and externally as per their liking and requirements. However, the main advantages of living in a rented home are that they provide greater flexibility to individuals. Owing to increasing mobility, many people travel or even immigrate to another country for education or job opportunity, hence it becomes feasible for them to rent a place instead of directing their entire investments in acquiring possession of a house. Besides that, renters are saved from the expenses that are incurred before and after buying a house. For example, In California, the property tax and mortgage interest are higher than the average rent of a decent-sized apartment in the suburbs. In conclusion, I think that the advantages of flexibility and less expenditure that comes with renting a house outweigh the disadvantages of lack of personalization in comparison with home ownership.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, residents
still
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a home, while the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of industrialized nations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
inclined towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
an apartment. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
accommodation has more benefits than buying it.

Considering
firstly
the negatives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one is that this kind of accommodation does not provide an opportunity for personalization. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is
usually
designed by the homeowners and any customization of wall
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
and cabinets would jeopardize the terms of an agreement between the tenant and the landlord. Contrast this with homeowners who have the freedom to beautify their living space, both
internally
and
externally
as per their liking and requirements.

However
, the main advantages of living in a rented home are that they provide greater flexibility to individuals. Owing to increasing mobility,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travel or even immigrate to another country for education or job opportunity,
hence
it becomes feasible for them to rent a place
instead
of directing their entire investments in acquiring possession of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
Besides
that, renters
are saved
from the expenses that
are incurred
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
For example
, In California, the property tax and mortgage interest are higher than the average rent of a decent-sized apartment in the suburbs.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the advantages of flexibility and less expenditure that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renting
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
outweigh the disadvantages of lack of personalization
in comparison
with home ownership.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to rent accommodations while others buy their own home. Does renting a house or apartment have more advantages than buying one? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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