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Some people prefer to read or watch news every day; other people prefer to read or watch news irregularly, which do you prefer? v.1

Some people prefer to read or watch news every day; other people prefer to read or watch news irregularly, which do you prefer? v. 1
In recent years, technology has drastically advanced and is more and more used for people surveillance such as using cellphone tracking and cameras. People are mostly even unaware of being monitored. In my opinion, this development has more advantages rather than disadvantages. To begin with the disadvantages, some believe that these continuous monitoring is breach of privacy and against the human rights of freedom. Additionally, incident of data leakage like passwords, social security numbers and a few others are commonly heard. On the other hand, advantages would include more social security as a citizen. This is due to continuous monitoring by CCTV cameras in our locality that we can feel safe and roam around any time. For instance, CCTV camera recording can track every housekeeping person working the whole day in the society. Also, surveillance for all the entry and exit of each person in a locality is traceable even for delivery personnel. To add on, these monitors can be utilized to forbid crime. Because of this tracking, crimes occurred could be tracked and solved by the footage and mobile tracking of victim and criminals for the locality. These are being utilized very commonly by police as well. Moreover, it becomes more efficient as people are unaware of monitoring, thus behaving the normal ways and not predicting. In such scenarios, the negligence becomes a bliss and criminals are identified and caught by police sooner. To summarize, surveillance of people not only leads to more security, but also curb the crime. Even if people are aware or unaware, keeping an eye is proving more beneficial than drawbacks.
In recent years, technology has
drastically
advanced and is more and more
used
for
people
surveillance such as using cellphone tracking and cameras.
People
are
mostly
even unaware of
being monitored
. In my opinion, this development has more advantages
rather
than disadvantages.

To
begin
with the disadvantages,
some
believe that these continuous monitoring is breach of privacy and against the human rights of freedom.
Additionally
, incident of data leakage like passwords, social security numbers and a few others are
commonly
heard.

On the other hand
, advantages would include more social security as a citizen. This is due to continuous monitoring by CCTV cameras in our locality that we can feel safe and roam around any time.
For instance
, CCTV camera recording can
track
every housekeeping person working the whole day in the society.
Also
, surveillance for all the entry and exit of each person in a locality is traceable even for delivery personnel.

To
add
on, these monitors can
be utilized
to forbid crime.
Because of this
tracking, crimes occurred could be
tracked
and solved by the footage and mobile tracking of victim and criminals for the locality. These are
being utilized
very
commonly
by police
as well
.
Moreover
, it becomes more efficient as
people
are unaware of monitoring,
thus
behaving the normal ways and not predicting. In such scenarios, the negligence becomes a bliss and criminals
are identified
and caught by police sooner.

To summarize
, surveillance of
people
not
only
leads to more security,
but
also
curb the crime. Even if
people
are aware or unaware, keeping an eye is proving more beneficial than drawbacks.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to read or watch news every day; other people prefer to read or watch news irregularly, which do you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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