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Some people like to watch television news programs every day, while others like to watch them only now and then. Which do you prefer? Include details and examples to support your explanation. v.1

Some people like to watch television news programs every day, while others like to watch them only now and then. Which do you prefer? Include details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1
More of us are going abroad more than we did in the past. This essay will suggest that cheaper air travel is the main reason for this and then submit that the main advantage is experiencing new cultures and becoming more open-minded. In the past, air tickets were only for the rich and famous because most salaries could not cover the price of a flight to a foreign country. This meant that the majority simply stayed at home or took their holidays domestically; however, this has all changed with the creation of budget airlines. Low-cost carriers, such as Ryanair in Europe or Tiger Air in Asia, have meant that anyone can save up and travel to a new country, with prices starting as low as $1. This has meant that there is far more intermingling across cultures leading to people becoming more accepting and tolerant. Intolerance was often blamed on people being ignorant of the people they disliked because they were a different religion or had different political beliefs, but this has slowly been eroded as we meet them and realise they are essentially just like us. For example, there was quite a lot of mistrust between ‘East’ and ‘West’ during the Cold War, but this has evaporated now we frequently visit each other’s nations. In conclusion, cheap travel by air has allowed us to see the world more than ever before and this can be seen as a good thing because it brings us all closer together and broadens our attitudes.
More of us are going abroad more than we did in the past. This essay will suggest that cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
travel is the main reason for this and then submit that the main advantage is experiencing new cultures and becoming more open-minded.

In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
tickets were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the rich and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most salaries could not cover the price of a flight to a foreign country. This meant that the majority
simply
stayed at home or took their holidays
domestically
;
however
, this has all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
with the creation of budget airlines. Low-cost carriers, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ryanair
in Europe or Tiger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
in Asia, have meant that anyone can save up and travel to a new country, with prices starting as low as $1.

This has meant that there is far more intermingling across cultures leading to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
becoming more accepting and tolerant. Intolerance was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
blamed on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
being ignorant of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
they disliked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religion or had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
political beliefs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this has
slowly
been eroded
as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them and
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
they are
essentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like us.
For example
, there was quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
mistrust between ‘East’ and ‘West’ during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Cold
War,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this has evaporated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we
frequently
visit each other’s nations.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
travel by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world more than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it brings us all closer together and broadens our attitudes.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to watch television news programs every day, while others like to watch them only now and then. Which do you prefer? Include details and examples to support your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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