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Some people prefer to provide help or support directly to the local community Others prefer to give money to national or international charitable organizations Discuss both views and give ur opinions v.2

Some people prefer to provide help or support directly to the local community Others prefer to give money to national or international charitable organizations 2
While in today life, there are several ways for wealthy people to contribute their money to help to improve the life of unprosperous people in the country. Some choose to buy essential items and give it directly to the community, however, others prefer transferring their money through charity agencies. Both of these methods have negative and positive effects and I will be discussing it in this essay. On the one hand, there are two main reasons that a large amount of people chooses to donate their money to charity organizations. First of all, charitable institutions are fast, professional and they will make sure that people’s money or items will be delivered to the exact people who really need it. Moreover, the processes are also quite straightforward so people can transfer their money with ease. Furthermore, some people would like to donate anonymously and the charity agencies can provide that. On the other hand, it is also advantageous to provide direct support to the community because charity organizations are not always trustable. Few charity institutions only transfer a part of the donation money to the community and they kept the remain parts to their own so handing the cash or items directly to people is a more efficient way. For instance, in some provinces of Vietnam, most of the donation money for the poor people often stayed in the pocket of charity organizations leaders. Moreover, there are also fraud agencies created to scam people’s money and then disappear without any traces. Thus, not only the money could not reach the hand of needy people, but the donator also suffered from the loss of their money. In conclusion, from my point of view, it is undeniable that charity agencies are fast and convenient, however, direct donate is more reliable and safer for the donators.
While in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
life, there are several ways for wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to contribute their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the life of
Possible spelling mistake found.
unprosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
essential items and give it
directly
to the community,
however
, others prefer transferring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agencies
. Both of these methods have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects and I will be discussing it in this essay.

On the one hand, there are two main reasons that a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
chooses to donate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
organizations.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, charitable institutions are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
professional and
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or items will
be delivered
to the exact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
really
need it.
Moreover
, the processes are
also
quite straightforward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can transfer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to donate
anonymously
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agencies
can provide that.

On the other hand
, it is
also
advantageous to provide direct support to the community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
organizations are not always trustable. Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
institutions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
transfer a part of the donation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
community and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'remain' is correct. If 'remain' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the remain
parts to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
handing the cash or items
directly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a more efficient way.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
provinces of Vietnam, most of the donation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
stayed in the pocket of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
organizations leaders.
Moreover
, there are
also
fraud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agencies
created to scam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and then disappear without any traces.
Thus
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could not reach the hand of needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
donator
also
suffered from the loss of their money.

In conclusion
, from my point of view, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agencies
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and convenient,
however
, direct donate is more reliable and safer for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
donators
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to provide help or support directly to the local community Others prefer to give money to national or international charitable organizations 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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