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eading run scorer in Cricket is an alumini from an college of our state. The reason was that, there was sufficient facilities and funding for the sports department of that university due to which the students from that college could get proper training in v.2

eading run scorer in Cricket is an alumini from an college of our state. The reason was that, there was sufficient facilities and funding for the sports department of that university due to which the students from that college could get proper training in v. 2
College life is considered as one of the most important phase for any young adult and is the period which develops children to do something big in their life. In college many students are inclined towards study whereas many have interest in sports as well. In my opinion, it is important that college provide equal funding for the sports and social service just as they do to classes and libraries. First of all, sports can help in recognising the university in a national level. Each year, there are so many state level competitions which are held for the sports such that all the colleges participate in it. Thus, if the university has spent good amount of money in the training of the students for the sports, it is most likely that their team will be perform well in the competition. I can recall an example of my university from last interstate football competition. In our university, sports was not supported as the studies and research was, due to which our football team barely made into the first round of the playoffs and were very easily defeated by the opposition team in the quarter finals. It was clear from the performance of the team, that they lacked training and also the basic training equipments. Secondly, there are many students in the university who are more inclined towards sports and social activities than study. After joining the college, many students realise that the course they have taken to study is not suitable for them, due to which they tend to shift towards other activities such as sports. It is undeniable that within a college, there might be a student who possesses the talent to become one of the famous athletes in the world. For instance, David Miller, who is the leading run scorer in Cricket is an alumini from an college of our state. The reason was that, there was sufficient facilities and funding for the sports department of that university due to which the students from that college could get proper training in the sports. Finally, the presence of sports and other cultural activities makes college life entertaining. It is inevitable that, if a university has proclivity only towards only education and research, most of the students in that university will be bored of their college as they will have too monotonous life in the university. For example, the high school where I studied was only focused towards education and studies, due to which many of the students in the school lacked interest even in coming to the school. It could be seen that half of the students from a class were mostly absent because they wanted to have some entertainment in their life which they were not able to get through the school. In the end, this lead to the poor performance of the students in their studies and the reputation of the school was also harmed. In conclusion, I feel that, treating sports and social activities same like education and providing them the funds required for its full development will be beneficial for both the university and the students. Many people might disagree with this statement by saying that the main objective of a university is to teach the students and other extracurricular activities can cause distraction to the students. However, I feel that, if the education and sports are provided in a balanced manner, then the students will not be distracted from these and will eventually enjoy their college life.
College
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is considered
as one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
phase for any young adult and is the period which develops children to do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In college
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are inclined
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
have interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as well
. In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that college provide equal funding for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and social service
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as they do to classes and libraries.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognising' is British English.
recognising
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in a national level. Each year, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
state level competitions which
are held
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such that all the colleges participate in it.
Thus
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
has spent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of money in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, it is most likely that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
will be
Consider using the past participle "performed"?
perform
well in the competition. I can recall an example of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
from last interstate football competition. In our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
was not supported as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and research was,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which our football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
barely
made into the
first
round of the playoffs and were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
defeated by the opposition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
in the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
quarter finals
. It was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the performance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
, that they lacked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and
also
the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
equipments.

Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
who are more inclined towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. After joining the college,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that the course they have taken to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is not suitable for them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which they tend to shift towards other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. It is undeniable that within a college, there might be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who possesses the talent to become one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
athletes in the world.
For instance
, David Miller, who is the leading run scorer in Cricket is an
Possible spelling mistake found.
alumini
from
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
college of our state. The reason was that,
Did you mean "there were sufficient facilities"?
there was sufficient facilities
and funding for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
department of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from that college could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
in the sports.

Finally
, the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and other cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
entertaining. It is inevitable that, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
has proclivity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and research, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
will be
In standard English it's more accepted to use "bored with" or "bored by".
bored of
their college as they will have too monotonous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
For example
, the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
where I studied was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focused towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
lacked interest even in coming to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. It could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
were
mostly
absent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they wanted to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertainment in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which they were not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, this lead to the poor performance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and the reputation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was
also
harmed.

In conclusion
, I feel that, treating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
same like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and providing them the funds required for its full development will be beneficial for both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might disagree with this statement by saying that the main objective of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is to teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and other extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can cause distraction to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
However
, I feel that, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are provided
in a balanced manner, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will not
be distracted
from these and will
eventually
enjoy their college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
75Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay eading run scorer in Cricket is an alumini from an college of our state. The reason was that, there was sufficient facilities and funding for the sports department of that university due to which the students from that college could get proper training in v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
582 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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