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Many people want to increase the amount of exercise they get in order to improve their health. Some people prefer to exercise alone, for example, they go walking or running. Some others prefer to exercise with a group of people like attending exercise cla v.2

Many people want to increase the amount of exercise they get in order to improve their health. Some people prefer to exercise alone, for example, they go walking or running. Some others prefer to exercise with a group of people like attending exercise cla v. 2
Now a days more people take care about themselves, and by exercising try to maintain their health. Although many prefer to exercise alone without being desrupted by other presence, I, on the other hand believe exercising with a group is more beneficial. I will address the most discernible reasons why I feel this way in the following. To begin with, people spend a lot of their time in their work office or in their university, thus they do not have enough time for exercising. Not only that, but also just a few people stick to their sport schedual when they exercise alone. When individuals attend exercise classes, because they pay for that, it is more possible to continue their class. Therefore, group exercising help them to stick to their schedual. My own experience is a good example of this. Last year, I decided to exercise in a park near my apartment to loos weight. At the first two weeks every morning I went to the park and running, but after that Idid not lose any weight and lost my motivation and give up. In my desperesion, I went to GYM in my neighbor, it cost me two hundred dollars. Although, I did not loss any weight at the beggining, but because of that money I did not give up and continued. After two month I saw it’s benefit, because I lose a lot of weitght. Moreover, attending social activities is a best way to learn social skills, such as communicating or making new friends. Exercising with a group give people apportunity to learn these skills. Hence, when individuals exercise with other people, he learn how to communicate with others in propel way or how can make friendship. For instance, I had very limited friends before I attended that gym, honestly I had only one friend, because the lacke of some social skills. But when I exercise with other people in that GYM, they talked to me and asked me some questions about my personal life, and talks about their interest. After a while we became so close friends. I put my knowldege in to account and gradually started to conversation with my co-workers in my office place, and find a lot of friends in both my office and that GYM. Addmitedly, when people exercise with others, becasue they talk with each other they do not ntice how time passed by and they will exercise more. In conclusion, it is for all the aforementioned reasons, I firmly believe group exercising is better that alone exercising. This is because it helps them to stick to their schedual and do not loss their motivation, and because it provides them apportunity to improve their social skills.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take care about themselves, and by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercising
try to maintain their health. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
alone without being
Possible spelling mistake found.
desrupted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
presence, I, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercising
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is more beneficial. I will address the most discernible reasons why I feel this way in the following.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
their time in their work office or in their university,
thus
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercising
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stick to their sport
Possible spelling mistake found.
schedual
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
alone. When individuals attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
classes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they pay for that, it is more possible to continue their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to stick to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
schedual
. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this. Last year, I decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in a park near my apartment to loos weight. At the
first
two weeks every morning I went to the park and running,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Idid
not lose any weight and lost my motivation and give up. In my
Possible spelling mistake found.
desperesion
, I went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GYM
in my neighbor, it cost me two hundred dollars. Although, I did not loss any weight at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
beggining
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that money I did not give up and continued. After two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'month' seems to be countable, so consider using: "months".
month
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
it’s benefit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I lose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
weitght
.

Moreover
, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activities is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best way to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, such as communicating or making new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Exercising
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
apportunity
to learn these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Hence
, when individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "learns", "learned", "learnt".
learn
how to communicate with others in propel way or how can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friendship.
For instance
, I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I attended that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
,
honestly
I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
lacke
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GYM
, they talked to me and asked me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
questions about my personal life, and talks about their interest.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
a while we became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. I put my
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowldege
in to account and
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to conversation with my co-workers in my office place, and find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in both my office and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GYM
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Addmitedly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
with others,
Possible spelling mistake found.
becasue
they talk with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
they do not
Possible spelling mistake found.
ntice
how time passed
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
by and
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
more.

In conclusion
, it is for all the aforementioned reasons, I
firmly
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercising
is better that alone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercising
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to stick to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
schedual
and do not loss their motivation, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides them
Possible spelling mistake found.
apportunity
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many people want to increase the amount of exercise they get in order to improve their health. Some people prefer to exercise alone, for example, they go walking or running. Some others prefer to exercise with a group of people like attending exercise cla v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
452 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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