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Some people prefer to live in the same place most of their life but others like to live in different places Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people prefer to live in the same place most of their life but others like to live in different places 1
The global travel industry has witnessed a massive growth in the recent decade, attributable to the rise of the low-cost carrier business model. As a result, nations around the world are embracing international tourism as an essential source of economic growth. I believe the advantages of welcoming foreign tourists far outweigh the corresponding disadvantages as long as certain risks are adequately controlled. On the one hand, travelling around the world is becoming ubiquitous for all people. Governments in many countries such as Viet Nam or Thai Land reduce cost travel in order to attract more foreign tourists. This really helps to boost its economies and politics. The money that foreign travellers bring to another country creates vital short-term and long-term impacts. In the short-term, the expenses paid by tourists go directly to the local populace, improving their livelihood. In the long-term, many unemployed people would find a high-paid job near the holiday destinations, thus reducing the proportion of the jobless rate in host countries. Besides, tourism also plays an integral part in maintaining a balance in global politics by making countries closer and friendlier to each other. For example, in some countries such as China and Viet Nam, many Chinese people travel to Vietnam and vice versa. Therefore, the relationship between two countries is improved significantly. On the other hand, nothing comes without some drawbacks. The growth in international travel has brought up many concerns regarding environmental damages, health issues, and criminal activities. Many fatal diseases such as Ebola, SARS, MERS spread through the air and people who are exposed to it would catch the disease. Once an infected person can lead to dire consequences and spread to society if not detected and treated promptly. However, all of the stated problems can be well handled if governments and nations around the world can cooperate efficiently to promote positive tourism practices. For example, in Thai LAN, tourists must get a health check if they want to travel in that country. In conclusion, the benefits of increasing tourism far outstrip its drawbacks for all reasons above.
The global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
industry has witnessed a massive growth in the recent decade, attributable to the rise of the low-cost carrier business model.
As a result
, nations around the world are embracing international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
as an essential source of economic growth. I believe the advantages of welcoming foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
far outweigh the corresponding disadvantages as long as certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
are
adequately
controlled.

On the one hand, travelling around the world is becoming ubiquitous for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam or Thai Land
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in order to attract more foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
. This
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to boost its economies and politics. The money that foreign
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
bring to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
creates vital short-term and long-term impacts. In the short-term, the expenses paid by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
go
directly
to the local populace, improving their livelihood. In the long-term,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would find a high-paid job near the holiday destinations,
thus
reducing the proportion of the jobless rate in host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
also
plays an integral part in maintaining a balance in global politics by making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
closer and friendlier to each other.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as China and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to Vietnam and vice versa.
Therefore
, the relationship between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
significantly
.

On the other hand
, nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. The growth in international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
has brought up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
concerns regarding environmental damages, health issues, and criminal activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
fatal diseases such as Ebola, SARS, MERS spread through the air and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are exposed
to it would catch the disease. Once an infected person can lead to dire consequences and spread to society if not detected and treated
promptly
.
However
,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
stated problems can be well handled if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and nations around the world can cooperate
efficiently
to promote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
practices.
For example
, in Thai LAN,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
if they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in that country.

In conclusion
, the benefits of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
far outstrip its drawbacks for all reasons above.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in the same place most of their life but others like to live in different places 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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