Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In schools and universities, girls tend to choose art while boys like science. What are the reasons for this tendency and do you think this tendency should be changed? v.1

In schools and universities, girls tend to choose art while boys like science. What are the reasons for this tendency and do you think this tendency should be changed? v. 1
Travelling abroad is now affordable, moreover, the number of countries that are allowing more tourist has increased. Promoting tourism can certainly boost the economy and lead to improved infrastructure but there are also some drawbacks to be taken into account such as economic dependency and conflict. On the one hand, there are a number of advantages of tourism. Firstly, it can improve the economy of a country. This is due to the fact that foreigners bring money into the country and spend it on services such as hotel bills, transportation and food. This inflow of money helps to stabilize the economy of the nation. For instance, Dubai encouraged more visitors into their country and there was a boost in its economy by 65%. Secondly, tourism can result in development of infrastructure, that is to say that the government of a nation can invest in tourism by building hotels, roads and renovating historical buildings. This has a lasting positive effect on the nation. On the other hand, one main problem of allowing more tourist is that it can make the country to be over dependent on the revenue from tourism sector. If this sector is not sustained, for example, due to political unrest, the economy of the nation will collapse. Another possible issue is that it can lead to friction between visitors and citizens. This can occur if the culture of the people is not respected. Take for example, there has been several reports of riots in some countries that women are supposed to veil but the female foreigners did not. In conclusion, while increasing tourism can be beneficial in terms of economic stability and better infrastructure, it can also cause cultural dispute and economic collapse if not sustained.
Travelling abroad is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
affordable,
moreover
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that are allowing more tourist has increased. Promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can
certainly
boost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
infrastructure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to
be taken
into account such as economic dependency and conflict.

On the one hand, there are a number of advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
Firstly
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This is due to the fact that
foreigners bring money into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and spend it on services such as hotel bills, transportation and food. This inflow of money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to stabilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of the nation.
For instance
, Dubai encouraged more visitors into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and there was a boost in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
by 65%.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can result in development of infrastructure,
that is
to say that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of a nation can invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
by building hotels, roads and renovating historical buildings. This has a lasting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the nation.

On the other hand
, one main problem of allowing more tourist is that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to be over dependent on the revenue from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector. If this sector is not sustained,
for example
, due to political unrest, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of the nation will collapse. Another possible issue is that it can lead to friction between visitors and citizens. This can occur if the culture of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is not respected. Take
for example
, there has been several reports of riots in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that women
are supposed
to veil
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the female foreigners did not.

In conclusion
, while increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can be beneficial in terms of economic stability and better infrastructure, it can
also
cause cultural dispute and economic collapse if not sustained.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In schools and universities, girls tend to choose art while boys like science. What are the reasons for this tendency and do you think this tendency should be changed? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts