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Some people prefer to live in the same place most of their life, but others like to live in different places. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people prefer to live in the same place most of their life, but others like to live in different places. v. 1
With modernization, people have changed the preferences of living according to their choices. It has been observed that some people spend their life at one place; others enjoy living in different areas to explore new cultures and lifestyles. The essay will firstly elaborate the reasons of living in a particular area followed by metrics of spending life in various places. To embark upon, in many nations, citizens prefer to live with their families and relatives. Besides, not only they became familiar with their native places, but also migrating to another location requires several arrangements and setup cost. To illustrate, if a person has spent his childhood in one place with loved ones, then he has emotionally attached to that community and neighbourhood. Hence, they choose not settle in different cities because of attachments and affection for their native people and places. On the other hand, with the advancement in technology, young generation want to live in more developed areas of a country. Moreover, they are keen to learn the latest technology and to acquire more knowledge and experience, they settle in developed cities. For instance, in competitive era, students prefer to move to different countries to pursue their studies. Therefore, to achieve more in life, masses roam to other areas to look for advance lifestyle. To conclude, in my opinion, gravitating to developed place has been considered as beneficial for the individual and society. It helps individual to explore more in term of different educational courses as well as career opportunities. Additionally, one can develop their skills with advance information, choices which are easily approachable in developed cities.
With modernization,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the preferences of living according to their choices. It has
been observed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend their life at one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
; others enjoy living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to explore new cultures and lifestyles. The essay will
firstly
elaborate the reasons of living in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
followed by metrics of spending life in various places.

To embark upon, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations, citizens prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their families and relatives.
Besides
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they became familiar with their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
migrating to another location requires several arrangements and setup cost. To illustrate, if a person has spent his childhood in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones, then he has
emotionally
attached to that community and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.
Hence
, they choose not
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to settle"
settle
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of attachments and affection for their native
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and places.

On the other hand
, with the advancement in technology, young generation want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of a country.
Moreover
, they are keen to learn the latest technology and to acquire more knowledge and experience, they settle in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
cities.
For instance
, in competitive era, students prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries to pursue their studies.
Therefore
, to achieve more in life, masses roam to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to look for advance lifestyle.

To conclude
, in my opinion, gravitating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
has
been considered
as beneficial for the individual and society. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
individual to explore more in term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
educational courses
as well
as career opportunities.
Additionally
, one can develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with advance information, choices which are
easily
approachable in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
cities.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in the same place most of their life, but others like to live in different places. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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