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Some people prefer to live in house, while others fee that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment v.1

Some people prefer to live in house, while others fee that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment v. 1
In recent times, more and more people have lived in apartments due to many reasons; however, others think that living in a house is far better compared to houses. In my opinion, I consider staying in a home has more benefits than any other places. There are some people believe that when living in an apartment allows them to interact with multiple families as one apartment block accommodates a large number of families. In reality, most of the people lead a busy life and they may not even recognise who stay in their neighbouring flat. Apart from this, some point out that when living in this place would reduce the chance of theft. A recent news report, for instance, which reported that the number of thefts have been increased in apartment blocks than houses in the rural areas. Nevertheless, despite the above argument, I strongly believe that since a house is separated from other buildings which ensures the privacy. In other words, By contrast, if staying in a tower block, where there are many families from various backgrounds, and staying this place would create invasion into the privacy as all are living in a close proximity. Another merit here is that houses normally have some spaces for planting trees and vegetables, eventually, they can have fresh fruits and vegetables. Take kitchen gardens in the backyards of the houses, which really reduce the cost of living in a great extent. In conclusion, even though there are some basic benefits of living in apartments, I, personally, again reaffirm that houses have more advantages.
In recent times, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons;
however
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is far better compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
. In my opinion, I consider staying in a home has more benefits than any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to interact with multiple families as one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
block accommodates
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
families. In reality, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lead a busy
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they may not even
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
who stay in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
flat. Apart from this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point out that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in this place would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the chance of theft. A recent news report,
for instance
, which reported that the number of thefts have
been increased
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
blocks than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in the rural areas.

Nevertheless
, despite the above argument, I
strongly
believe that since a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is separated
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
buildings which ensures the privacy. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, By contrast, if staying in a tower block, where there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families from various backgrounds, and staying this place would create invasion into the privacy as all are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
Consider using "proximity".
close proximity
. Another merit here is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
normally
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
spaces for planting trees and vegetables,
eventually
, they can have fresh fruits and vegetables. Take kitchen gardens in the backyards of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
, which
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a great extent.

In conclusion
,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
, I,
personally
, again reaffirm that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
have more advantages.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in house, while others fee that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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