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Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems. v.8

Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems. v. 8
Popularity makes people well known in the society and pay special attention to them. This sometimes causes celebrity to become benefited and feeling unwanted situation as well. But I believe that popularity brings more advantages than problems. To begin, star-people often get enormous benefits from the government. First, they are usually entitled for any kinds of security as the administrator considered them as the country's property. For example, laws enforcing authorities always cordon them in any public gatherings to ensure their safety. Second, special attentive persons may be awarded for extra financial support from the authority so that they become prepared efficiently for future performance. Therefore, being a branded person, he or she gets huge supports. Moreover, popular-one either from sports or film industry receives extra priority from society. For instance, in general, when the public finds any celebrity in the transport, in the hospital or in any office, they become ready to cooperate them. Furthermore, parents usually considered them as an idol for Childrens' future career selection. Thus, prioritized person finds benefits from the community. However, on the other side, being popular, they sometimes face some problems also. Their life, firstly, becomes insecure as they have to attend in many public functions, so they are more prone to contact with unknown people or even unknown sniper. To conclude, Popularity brings both advantages and drawbacks. But I believe that popular people enjoyed more benefit rather facing a little problem.
Popularity
makes
people
well known in the society and pay special attention to them. This
sometimes
causes celebrity to
become
benefited and feeling unwanted situation
as well
.
But
I believe that popularity brings more advantages than problems.

To
begin
, star-
people
often
get
enormous benefits from the
government
.
First
, they are
usually
entitled for any kinds of security as the administrator considered them as the country's property.
For example
, laws enforcing authorities always cordon them in any public gatherings to ensure their safety. Second, special attentive persons may
be awarded
for extra financial support from the authority
so
that they
become
prepared
efficiently
for future performance.
Therefore
, being a branded person, he or she
gets
huge supports.

Moreover
, popular-one either from sports or film industry receives extra priority from society.
For instance
,
in general
, when the public finds any celebrity in the transport, in the hospital or in any office, they
become
ready to cooperate them.
Furthermore
, parents
usually
considered them as an idol for
Childrens
' future career selection.
Thus
, prioritized person finds benefits from the community.

However
, on the other side, being popular, they
sometimes
face
some
problems
also
. Their life,
firstly
,
becomes
insecure as they
have to
attend in
many
public functions,
so
they are more prone to contact with unknown
people
or even unknown sniper.

To conclude
, Popularity brings both advantages and drawbacks.
But
I believe that popular
people
enjoyed more benefit
rather
facing a
little
problem.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems. v. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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