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Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v.29

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v. 29
With the rapid population explosion, an increasing number of properties have been built in many bustling cities. However, a recent poll shows that people prefer dwelling in apartments than to living in houses. I also think that living in an apartment has more advantages though living in houses has some benefits as well. As for hunting an ideal vocation, living in an apartment near the commercial centre is the best choice. First, we are offered more choices on transportations and we can save time on commuting. Moreover, we don't need to worry about any housebreaking burglary when leaving for a certain time, since our apartments are protected by the management company. Furthermore, there are fewer cockroaches and mosquitoes if we live on higher floors. Nevertheless, people who tend to live in a house have a desire to enjoy the tranquillity. We are given more free space such as rooms, car parking, and garden. In the meantime, we can also invite friends to hold a big party without worrying that may bother the neighbours. However, when living in an apartment, it's hard for us to rent a parking spot. We need to pay parking fee monthly which costs a considerable amount of income. However, it's stressful for the middle-class family to buy a house since it's pricey. All in all, it depends on personal current situations to consider whether we should buy a house or an apartment, but in my opinion, I have to say the apartment is more suitable for people who live in a modern city.
With the rapid population explosion, an increasing number of properties have
been built
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
bustling cities.
However
, a recent poll
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer dwelling in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
than to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
has more advantages though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits
as well
.

As for hunting an ideal vocation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
near the commercial
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
is the best choice.
First
, we
are offered
more choices on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
transportations and
we can save time on commuting.
Moreover
, we don't need to worry about any housebreaking burglary when leaving for a certain time, since our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are protected
by the management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Furthermore
, there are fewer cockroaches and mosquitoes if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on higher floors.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
have a desire to enjoy the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tranquillity
. We are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more free space such as rooms, car parking, and garden. In the meantime, we can
also
invite friends to hold a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
party without worrying that may bother the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.

However
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
, it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for us to rent a parking spot. We need to pay parking fee monthly which costs a considerable amount of income.
However
, it's stressful for the middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
since it's pricey.

All in all, it depends on personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situations to consider whether we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
or an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
say the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
is more suitable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a modern city.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v. 29

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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