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Governments should be responsible for funding and controlling scientific research rather than private organisations. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Governments should be responsible for funding and controlling scientific research rather than private organisations. v. 1
I believe that the official authorities who run the democracy should pay more attention to scientific exploration and their development. Scientific research are roots of any country to grow in all the means. The reason behind it is because when scientific research will grow, they shall get new technology which will make our country not only famous but earn from its discoveries. Surely scientific research will need financial support in order to make various findings. But many a times it is noticed that the government sponsors more on other ancillary things than on scientific research. The accountability of the official authorities does not end by only financing but also taking an initiative to regulate the scientific research. Giving more importance to scientific investigation than the individuals is indeed a need of an hour. This is perhaps only because of the growing competition. According to me the private institutions do not actually require sponsorships from the government as the benefit of their growth is limited to themselves at times. Moreover, these firms are already supported by many of the individual partners. I think that in this kind of competitive world every nation should be answerable for funding and controlling scientific research as once the scientific research grows subsequently the income at the national level of each country shall increase. I opine that to lead someone or some tribe, the country will have to pay more attention towards their accountability for funding and regulating the scientific research. Therefore, to recapitulate the individual offices will not make much difference in uplifting the nation. But certainly if the scientific research is supported and managed in a good manner, then that nation can lead other nations who will then follow them for growing.
I believe that the official authorities who run the democracy should pay more attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
exploration and their development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
are roots of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to grow in all the means. The reason behind it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
will grow, they shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
new technology which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
earn from its discoveries.

Surely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
will need financial support in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
various findings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
it
is noticed
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
sponsors more on other ancillary things than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. The accountability of the official authorities does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
financing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
taking an initiative to regulate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
research.

Giving more importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
investigation than the individuals is
indeed
a need of an hour. This is perhaps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the growing competition.

This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
the private institutions do not actually require sponsorships from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as the benefit of their growth
is limited
to themselves at times.
Moreover
, these firms are already supported by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the individual partners.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in this kind of competitive world every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
should be answerable for funding and controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
as once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
grows
subsequently
the income at the national level of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
shall increase.

I opine that to lead someone or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tribe, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more attention towards their accountability for funding and regulating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
research.

Therefore
, to recapitulate the individual offices will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
much difference in uplifting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
certainly
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is supported
and managed in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manner, then that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
can lead other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
who will then follow them for growing.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments should be responsible for funding and controlling scientific research rather than private organisations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
288 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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