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Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v.11

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v. 11
There are two opposite points of views about the living place. One of them is, living in a big house is fantastic, but the other one seems to be that it is much better to be in a small flat with just a couple of rooms. In fact, I agree with the first one, which is being in a big home has a lot of benefits, because living in a house is marvellous, and a lot of activities can be done there. First of all, there are some of the drawbacks that make life is really horrible. The two main things are, the noisy neighbours and the small place of the flat. Firstly, the noisy neighbourhood is abominable because the sound can transfer easily between flats. For instance, if another apartment has small children and they just play, this will be so noisy to the next door people, especially for the students to study and for a man to take some rest from work. The second thing is, the small numbers of rooms in an apartment. To explain, there will be no places for the extended family to sleep or sit for two or three days. Nevertheless, living in a huge house is more beneficial, because of the large space that the houses have and also, the availability of a garage to park the car in and be more comfortable. Moreover, people who live in a home can grow up a dog in the garden, not only a small pet but it can be a dog to guard them from thieves. There is a good example of the advantage of having an enormous house which is, people can invite their relatives to a picnic party at the outdoor part of the house. To sum up, living in a gigantic home is being better and have some positives which are absent and cannot be available in smaller apartments. Also, children can have a big space to play in front of their parents.
There are two opposite points of views about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
place. One of them is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is fantastic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the other one seems to be that it is much better to be in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
flat with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a couple of rooms. In fact, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
one, which is being in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
home has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is
Possible spelling mistake. 'marvellous' is British English.
marvellous
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
activities can
be done
there.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
drawbacks that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life is
really
horrible. The two main things are, the noisy
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
place of the flat.
Firstly
, the noisy
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
is abominable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the sound can transfer
easily
between flats.
For instance
, if another apartment has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
play, this will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
noisy to the
next
door
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
for the students to study and for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rest from work. The second thing is, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
numbers of rooms in an apartment. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, there will be no places for the extended family to sleep or sit for two or three days.

Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is more beneficial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the large space that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
have and
also
, the availability of a garage to park the car in and be more comfortable.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a home can grow up a dog in the garden, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
pet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can be a dog to guard them from thieves. There is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of the advantage of having an enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
which is,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can invite their relatives to a picnic party at the outdoor part of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a gigantic home is being better and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
positives which are absent and cannot be available in smaller apartments.
Also
, children can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
space to play in front of their parents.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment? v. 11

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
331 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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