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Some people prefer to buy new books while some people would like to buy used books, what is your opinion? v.1

Some people prefer to buy new books while some people would like to buy used books, what is your opinion? v. 1
In recent years, an increasing number of people are travelling as compared to the past. This is because of the lower fares offered by budget-friendly airlines, and the major advantage of travelling is that travellers can enhance their knowledge about the world. Cheaper flights and reasonable prices offered by many airlines are the main reasons behind the significant increase in travelling more than ever before. In other words, travelling was very expensive in the past, and it was simply reserved for wealthy people. However, it is not the case now because several budget-friendly airlines provide basic facilities at a lower price. This encourages middle -class people to travel more frequently around the world. For example, a study carried out by the Porto Business School in 2018 stated that the number of flights increased by 80% in Porto since they introduced low-cost airlines. The major benefit for visitors of travelling is that it can increase their knowledge about other countries and their cultures. That is to say that while travelling, people can get the opportunity to interact with people from different cultures, and they can learn new things from them such as language, lifestyle, and the history of that place. This can broaden their understanding of the world, and they can become wiser. For instance, a report published by the New York Times in 2017, revealed that people who travel more to different places are 50% more knowledgeable than the people who do not travel frequently. To conclude, the primary reason why travelling has increased in today's time is that air tickets are available at a lower price, and the benefit a person can get by travelling is the deep knowledge about different people's lifestyles and cultures of other countries.
In recent years, an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
as compared to the past. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lower fares offered by budget-friendly airlines, and the major advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is that
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
can enhance their knowledge about the world.

Cheaper flights and reasonable prices offered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
airlines are the main reasons behind the significant increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
more than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive in the past, and it was
simply
reserved for wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, it is not the case
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
several budget-friendly airlines provide basic facilities at a lower price. This encourages middle -
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel more
frequently
around the world.
For example
, a study carried out by the Porto Business School in 2018 stated that the number of flights increased by 80% in Porto since they introduced low-cost airlines.

The major benefit for visitors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is that it can increase their knowledge about other countries and their cultures.
That is
to say that while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the opportunity to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, and they can learn new things from them such as language, lifestyle, and the history of that place. This can broaden their understanding of the world, and they can become wiser.
For instance
, a report published by the New York Times in 2017, revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who travel more to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places are 50% more knowledgeable than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not travel
frequently
.

To conclude
, the primary reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
has increased in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's time is that air tickets are available at a lower price, and the benefit a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is the deep knowledge about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyles and cultures of other countries.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people prefer to buy new books while some people would like to buy used books, what is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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