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Some people prefer to buy food in a supermarket, others prefer to do their food shopping online. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people prefer to buy food in a supermarket, others prefer to do their food shopping online. v. 2
Although people buy food from the store there are some who do their grocery shopping exclusively online. In my opinion, the availability of both options is preferred and we will discuss both the views. Traditionally, people have been buying food from the supermarkets. The main reason for this being they could physically see, feel and sense the produces before purchasing it. Also, the food items available are neatly organized, allowing the customers to check the texture, freshness and condition. So people could pick and choose the items based on their liking. Moreover, they could interact with the employees of the store to get additional information and options. For example, Help in locating the items can be received from the employees. On the other hand, the latest trend in shopping is getting the grocery through online portals. There are segments of the population who prefer to shop exclusively online. Firstly, Online shopping can be done anywhere and at any time as there are no opening hours for online e-commerce websites. Secondly, Deliver of the order could be conveniently scheduled at their preferred time so that they could spend time on other activities. Lastly, The prices for various items can be compared online and in real time among the competitors. For example, doing a price match result in additional saving on every order the customer places. In conclusion, The choice depends on individuals, Busy individuals and working professionals who are tight on schedule could choose online food shopping rather than the shopping at the corner store. For others who have some time and live close to supermarkets could do the shopping at the physical store. Even though online option is convenient, buying local would promote local business and develop the community.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do their grocery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
exclusively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. In my opinion, the availability of both options is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
preferred and
we will discuss both the views.

Traditionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have been buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from the supermarkets. The main reason for this being they could
physically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, feel and sense the produces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing it.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
available are
neatly
organized, allowing the customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the texture, freshness and condition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could pick and choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
based on their liking.
Moreover
, they could interact with the employees of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
additional information and options.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Help
in locating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
can
be received
from the employees.

On the other hand
, the latest trend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is getting the grocery through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
portals. There are segments of the population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
prefer to shop exclusively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
can
be done
anywhere and at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as there are no opening hours for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
e-commerce websites.
Secondly
, Deliver of the order could be
conveniently
scheduled at their preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on other activities.
Lastly
, The prices for various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
can
be compared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
among the competitors.
For example
, doing a price match result in additional saving on every order the customer places.

In conclusion
, The choice depends on individuals, Busy individuals and working professionals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are tight on schedule could choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at the corner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
. For others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
close to supermarkets could do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
at the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
option is convenient, buying local would promote local business and develop the community.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to buy food in a supermarket, others prefer to do their food shopping online. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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