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Some people prefer panning for the future while others argue that we should focus on the present. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people prefer panning for the future while others argue that we should focus on the present. v. 1
Some people support that planning for the future is much more important, while others in favor of focusing on the present. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the future plan. Indeed, planning for future redound to keep a person motivated and ambitious throughout the lifetime. This is because if a person has clear goals and objectives for life and career, he will work hard towards achieving them. For example, those who want to immigrate to another country have to require several steps in a certain order. Furthermore, planning ahead contributes to anticipating problem and find solutions rather than facing them all of a sudden. This means people who make plans for future are less likely to feeling stressed about contingency. In addition, it is necessarily to make a clear plan for the future. This is because future planning is more like the prediction which bases on the present life. Hence, only with clear goals can we better control the current development. For example, the government will raise the arrangement for the next year in advance so that various departments can work more effectively. What’s more, changing is the law of life. This means the present does not sit still for a portrait but is changing constantly. And therefore, the plan makes the purposeless life organized. In conclusion, focusing on the present is less important than planning for the future. Practically, it is known to all that the future comes from the present, which carries more weight in real life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, while others in favor of focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
. As far as I
am concerned
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
plan.

Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
redound to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a person motivated and ambitious throughout the lifetime. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if a person has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
goals and objectives for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and career, he will work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
towards achieving them.
For example
, those who want to immigrate to another country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
require several steps in a certain order.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
ahead contributes to anticipating problem and find solutions
rather
than facing them all of a sudden. This means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
plans for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
are less likely to feeling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
about contingency.

In addition
, it is
necessarily
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
plan for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is more like the prediction which bases on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
goals can we better control the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
development.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will raise the arrangement for the
next
year in advance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that various departments can work more
effectively
. What’s more, changing is the law of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
does not sit
still
for a portrait
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is changing
constantly
. And
therefore
, the plan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the purposeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
organized.

In conclusion
, focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
is less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Practically
, it
is known
to all that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
, which carries more weight in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer panning for the future while others argue that we should focus on the present. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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