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Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. v. 1
People’s opinion that individuals should conduct study into history of family. Some have an opposite idea, which reference people to focus on the present and future generations. As a Vietnamese person, I would give my credit to both ideas and discuss as below. On the one hand, individuals should notice on history of ancestor and there are some reason to explain it. Firstly, they would know some interesting and useful information in some cases. Secondly, it satisfies the curiosity of certain people as it is one of powerful characteristic, which is like a trigger leading us to make action. Finally, this kind of knowledge help every person to be motivated for any challenge. For example, my grandfather usually tell me about a string of hard moments that he met in wartime, and these images reminds how issues of mine is tiny, which encourage to over any challenge. On the other hand, people should concentrate on the present and future generations as it can be changed to be better. It implies that we are living in present and continue to move forward into the future, and are not able to do or change any thing in the past. Furthermore, individuals follow the advice, which means they are mature and do have responsibility to themselves, families and society. For instance, the brain of humans being is limited if someone focus intensively on relatives and ancestors, which leads to ignore their current stuff such as job, family, friend. In conclusion, I do confirm that both ideas have its implication, which help you overcome challenges or harsh situations. It also contains no drawback.
People’s
opinion that individuals should conduct study into history of family.
Some
have an opposite
idea
, which reference
people
to focus on the present and future generations. As a Vietnamese person, I would give my credit to both
ideas
and discuss as below.

On the one hand, individuals should notice on history of ancestor and there are
some
reason to
explain
it.
Firstly
, they would know
some
interesting and useful information in
some
cases.
Secondly
, it satisfies the curiosity of certain
people
as it is one of powerful characteristic, which is like a trigger leading us to
make
action.
Finally
, this kind of knowledge
help
every person to
be motivated
for any challenge.
For example
, my grandfather
usually
tell
me about a string of
hard
moments that he met in wartime, and these images reminds how issues of mine is tiny, which encourage to over any challenge.

On the other hand
,
people
should concentrate on the present and future generations as it can be
changed
to be better. It implies that we are living in present and continue to
move
forward into the future, and are not able to do or
change
any thing
in the past.
Furthermore
, individuals follow the advice, which means they are mature and do have responsibility to themselves, families and society.
For instance
, the brain of humans being
is limited
if someone
focus
intensively
on relatives and ancestors, which leads to
ignore
their
current
stuff such as job, family, friend.

In conclusion
, I do confirm that both
ideas
have its implication, which
help
you overcome challenges or harsh situations. It
also
contains no drawback.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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