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Some people prefer learn about current event from watching to television, and others prefer to learn from the internet and newspapers. Which u prefer? v.1

Some people prefer learn about current event from watching to television, and others prefer to learn from the internet and newspapers. Which u prefer? v. 1
People have different opinions about how essential kind of subject matter recently. Some of them think that Science and Technology offer more benefits to humankind. Despite that, others encourage History as the most fundamental material these days. I think both of these are true, but in my opinion, Science and Technology could provide solutions above our problems in this period. Many questions and problems that have to be solved by dynamic solutions in the modern era like today’s world. Science and Technology can do that thing which assists human activities easier. This substance should have existed as a basic subject in the school. It helps to improve the creative skills of students to innovate and make something. For instance, pupils will supply skills for programming an application to connect people in the whole world effectively and efficiently. This skill is very futuristic and proving how important this topic. Some people stand to History as the most substantial course today. It teaches us to consider the experiences to face some problems and it could be the references for preventing huge failures. This material obligates people to remember about the discovery of inventions which provided a large impact on human life. For example, the finding of a microscope by Hook which made people realize how useful the microscope for Medical, Biology, and Pharmacy research. That invention motivated people to innovate that tool to be better and suitable for recent necessaries. In conclusion, both of those courses have benefits for life in this era. Even though History conducted some gold experiences of past life, Science and Technology is the most useful and fundamental subject to answer all of the problems in the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about how essential kind of
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "subject".
subject matter
recently.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
offer more benefits to humankind. Despite that, others encourage History as the most fundamental material these days. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both of these are true,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
could provide solutions above our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in this period.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
questions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be solved
by dynamic solutions in the modern era like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
can do that thing which assists human activities easier. This substance should have existed as a basic subject in the school. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of students to innovate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
something.
For instance
, pupils will supply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for programming an application to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the whole world
effectively
and
efficiently
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
futuristic and proving how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
this topic.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stand to History as the most substantial course
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. It teaches us to consider the experiences to face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and it could be the references for preventing huge failures. This material obligates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to remember about the discovery of inventions which provided a large impact on human life.
For example
, the finding of a microscope by Hook which made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
realize how useful the microscope for Medical, Biology, and Pharmacy research. That invention motivated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to innovate that tool to be better and suitable for recent necessaries.

In conclusion
, both of those courses have benefits for life in this era.
Even though
History conducted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
gold experiences of past life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is the most useful and fundamental subject to answer
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the world.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer learn about current event from watching to television, and others prefer to learn from the internet and newspapers. Which u prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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