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Some people thInk that studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it is important to do so? What will be the impacts on children if they are not taught history? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples f v.1

Some people thInk that studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it is important to do so? What will be the impacts on children if they are not taught history? 1
Globalization has many consequences on almost every factor in the world and languages is one of those. People, these days, are focusing on becoming bi-language. I certainly agree that local languages are impacted and are perishing fast. On the one hand, if we have common language all over the world, it will definitely benefit as people from any corner of the world will be able to communicate effectively with each other. This will reduce the cost over third party translators who were persons in past but nowadays devices. Same platform for communication will make life easier and bring all together. On the other hand, local languages are as important as global. Abundant literature is written which provide ample useful information for day to day life. Folk songs are enjoyable only if they are in their original form. Literature and books not only provide knowledge but also traditions and customs. It allows to persist and preserve the culture of particular tribes. It brings diversity and everyone can take advantage of that. For example, in India, most of the Ayurveda books are written in Sanskrit which has mentioned cure of almost every disease. If nobody knows Sanskrit, that knowledge is of no use, hence it is really important to protect and learn them. Another crucial point is if the person knows multiple languages his or her intelligent quotient is more, so the public should be aware about learning more and more languages. To conclude, I think that globalization is one of the reasons to die local languages and it is really important to preserve and save those to get benefits over the time.
Globalization has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consequences on almost every factor in the world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is one of those.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
, these days, are focusing on becoming bi-language. I
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are impacted
and are perishing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
.

On the one hand, if we have common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
all over the world, it will definitely benefit as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from any corner of the world will be able to communicate
effectively
with each other. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cost over third party translators who were persons in past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays devices. Same platform for communication will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life easier and bring all together.

On the other hand
, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as global. Abundant literature
is written
which provide ample useful information for day to day life. Folk songs are enjoyable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they are in their original form. Literature and books not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
traditions and customs. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
Did you mean "persisting"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to persist
and preserve the culture of particular tribes. It brings diversity and everyone can take advantage of that.
For example
, in India, most of the Ayurveda books
are written
in Sanskrit which has mentioned cure of almost every disease. If nobody knows Sanskrit, that knowledge is of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
,
hence
it is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to protect and learn them. Another crucial point is if the person knows multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
intelligent quotient is more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the public should be aware about learning more and more languages.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that globalization is one of the reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and it is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to preserve and save those to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefits over the time.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people thInk that studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it is important to do so? What will be the impacts on children if they are not taught history? 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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