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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.23

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. with this statement? v. 23
It is often argued that these days humans have more alternatives than previous years. I completely agree with this opinion and think that today there are plenty of opportunities for us. First of all, I want to say that living in the internet century brings to our life huge advantages, such as online sites. Even if someone wants to buy clothes without going out home, it is near us only one click. As a result not wasting time getting something gives pleasure and feeling of satisfaction. For instance, nowadays 60 % of people buying items from the internet instead of spending hours on traffic or shopping centres. That is why it is more important to learn how to use web pages properly. On the other hand, there are also lots of choices on the educational side. Everyone can study whenever and wherever not depends on age or financial problems. There are several options for studying while anybody has not got time or money for going to the course. For example, Ibrahim Tatli, a famous Turkish singer who is 60 years old now, said that he lived in a village and did not go to school as financial problems. Then he began to study distance learning for about 40 years. To summarise, if someone wants to learn something, it is never late, if there is a chance. In conclusion, I strongly believe that now there are numerous possibilities in our daily life that making our living better in education and shopping parts.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that these days humans have more alternatives than previous years. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of opportunities for us.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I want to say that living in the internet century brings to our life huge advantages, such as online sites. Even if someone wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
clothes without going out home, it is near us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one click.
As a result
not wasting time getting something gives pleasure and feeling of satisfaction.
For instance
, nowadays 60 % of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
buying items from the internet
instead
of spending hours on traffic or shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
That is
why it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
web pages
properly
.

On the other hand
, there are
also
lots of choices on the educational side. Everyone can study whenever and wherever not depends on age or financial problems. There are several options for studying while anybody has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
time or money for going to the course.
For example
, Ibrahim
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tatli
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Turkish singer who is 60 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, said that he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in a village and did not go to school as financial problems. Then he began to study distance learning for about 40 years. To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, if someone wants to learn something, it is never late, if there is a chance.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
there are numerous possibilities in our daily life that making our living better in education and shopping parts.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. with this statement? v. 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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