Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music, film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no public or government restrictions on what they do. v.3

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music, film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no public or government restrictions on what they do. v. 3
The issue of freedom of creative artist has extremely grown in importance in most countries over the few decades. It is considered that government should not interfere with their works and the artists should be free to do whatever they want. While I accept many artists are sharing their valuable ideas for the tremendous development of this world, I believe some certain area they should be controlled by the rules and regulation. Admittedly, the human civilisation has approached this sophisticated stage because many creative artists have bestowed us an enormous number of significant ideas and opinions in the form of pictures, music or films. As an example, many creative artists like Leonardo Da Vinci, Pablo Picasso and Michelangelo Buonarroti had first drawn the design of aeroplane; but, at that time nobody could think that human can fly and everybody thought it was just imagined of his mind. Although it required a long time, but it became true that human now can fly. This example makes it clear that the work of artists can lead to immense improvement of humankind. Therefore, many people think that they should be free with their works for the advancement of the human being. On the other hand, there are some vital reasons why the work of artists should be controlled in some certain area. Firstly, most people in this world believe in the God; so the artist should not create such type of acts, which hurt the religion. If this type of activity they make, it may bring colossal embarrassment to the human society. Secondly, the artist should not go against any culture and costume of a country. In this certain field, government can limit the practice of an artist. In conclusion, the creative artists are indispensable in our society although some artists have tended to draw against our cast, creed, and religion. In my opinion, this tendency may call harmful to our mankind so that the government should control the activity, which can go directly against to our culture and religion.
The issue of freedom of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
has
extremely
grown in importance in most countries over the few decades. It
is considered
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not interfere with their works and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
should be free to do whatever they want. While I accept
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are sharing their valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for the tremendous development of this world, I believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain area they should
be controlled
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation.

Admittedly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
has approached this sophisticated stage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
have bestowed us an enormous number of significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and opinions in the form of pictures, music or films. As an example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
like
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
Leonardo Da Vinci
, Pablo Picasso and Michelangelo
Possible spelling mistake found.
Buonarroti
had
first
drawn the design of
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, at that time nobody could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
can
fly
and everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
imagined of his mind. Although it required a long time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it became true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can
fly
. This example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
can lead to immense improvement of humankind.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should be free with their works for the advancement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vital reasons why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
should
be controlled
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain area.
Firstly
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in this world believe in the God;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
should not create such type of acts, which hurt the religion. If this type of activity they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
, it may bring colossal embarrassment to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
society.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
should not go against any culture and costume of a country. In this certain field,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can limit the practice of an artist.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are indispensable in our society although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
have tended to draw against our cast, creed, and religion.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my opinion, this tendency may call harmful to our mankind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should control the activity, which can go
directly
against to our culture and religion.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music, film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no public or government restrictions on what they do. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts