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Some people opine that cinema will eventually lose its appeal to mass people and very few people will go to cinema halls. v.3

Some people opine that cinema will eventually lose its appeal to mass people and very few people will go to cinema halls. v. 3
Many believe that multiplex & cinema is on dying spree and eventually, the cinema will die his own death, due to shift in Technology, which has literally bring cinema at Home. I am sort of in opinion that, actual movie lovers will never forget big screen. May, the number will be on downward trend and in the business context, it will not be as profitable as in last few decades. Still, the charm of cinema is never going to die. As an individual, I always love to watch movies on the silver screen, the reason being is, fill joy of a movie can only be possible with theatre, no one is there to disturb & you can uninterruptedly enjoy or feel the story line. One always rates a movie better if he has seen it on a big screen. However,   another aspect is also somewhat true that cinema a is on the decline. Innovation and upscaling in Technology are the prime reasons, which make people think that the era of Silver Screen is bound to die. Technology has brought the big screen at home with better sound systems, big LED screens & most importantly the ease of watching at the comfort of home. On a high note for the big screen, the best part is, no one can watch latest flicks at home & this will make sure that people keep coming to the big screen for watching the latest work of their favourite stars. Summing up, favour for big screen may decline, in reality, it is never going to die in next decade or so.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that multiplex &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is on dying spree and
eventually
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
die
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
death, due to shift in Technology, which has
literally
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "brought".
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
at Home. I am sort of in opinion that, actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
lovers will never forget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
. May, the number will be on downward trend and in the business context, it will not be as profitable as in last few decades.

Still
, the charm of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is never going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
die
. As an individual, I always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on the silver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
, the reason being is, fill joy of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be possible with
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, no one is there to disturb & you can
uninterruptedly
enjoy or feel the story line. One always rates a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
better if he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
it on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
screen.

However
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
another aspect is
also
somewhat true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
is on the decline. Innovation and
Possible spelling mistake found.
upscaling
in Technology are the prime reasons, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the era of Silver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Screen
is bound
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
die
. Technology has brought the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
at home with better sound systems,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
LED
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
& most
importantly
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of watching at the comfort of home.

On a high note for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
, the best part is, no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
flicks at home & this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
coming to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
for watching the latest work of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
stars.

Summing up,
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
may decline, in reality, it is never going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
die
in
next
decade or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people opine that cinema will eventually lose its appeal to mass people and very few people will go to cinema halls. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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