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Some people like to travel alone, while the others think it is better to go together with someone. discuss both views and include your opinion v.1

Some people like to travel alone, while the others think it is better to go together with someone. 1
People have different stages in their lifetime. Life has inculcated good and bad experiences in their lifetime. According to some people, view life experiences have nothing to do in later point, but others believe life lessons have a vital role in a prospective enhancement. Let me slice and dice both of the views and emphasize my points in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, Firstly, many people strongly believes that experiencing life is the right way to develop and have a proper graph of growth. Learning from the past has played a major role in human evolution so far, it apparently shows that gathering knowledge from our past mistakes and also understanding the pros and cons we faced in a lifetime. Definitely those learnings will help us in our furthermore action and decisions. Secondly, some people treat the past experiences as treasures of life which bring sweet memories. For example, One of my friends wanted to learn car driving in initial stages he used to look at gear liver, which changing gear unfortunately he met with a minor accident and got injuries. Though it is a bad experience, however, this helped him rectify his error. Finally, the past may have sweet memories or lessons both would help us in either good and bad way in later point of time. On the other hand, Mainly, some people come up with a grey side of past learning, they believe that past is past it never being any value to present and they have a strong belief that the past thoughts would ruin present life and future as well. Even more, in case of any lose in life some people may stick to the past thoughts and become lunatic in some point of time in their life. Hence, they fail to follow recent happenings which make the outdated in society and they are considered as losers. Moreover, In fact, one of my colleagues lost his wife in an accident which made him completely depressed. Thus he lost his focus on the job due to the past distress thoughts about an accident eventually, he lost his job too. I would like to conclude by stating that, From my point of view, life is the best teacher. The past is an open book it has both distress and learnings as well utilizing them in the right part of our life is up to us. Those learnings desperately help us to avoid cons and also have a fruitful life in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages in their lifetime.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
has inculcated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
in their lifetime. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
have nothing to do in later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
lessons have a vital role in a prospective enhancement.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me slice and dice both of the views and emphasize my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
in the following paragraphs.

On the one hand,
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
strongly
believes that experiencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is the right way to develop and have a proper graph of growth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
has played a major role in human evolution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far, it
apparently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that gathering knowledge from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
mistakes and
also
understanding the pros and cons we faced in a lifetime. Definitely those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learnings
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us in our
furthermore
action and decisions.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
treat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
as treasures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which bring sweet memories.
For example
, One of my friends wanted to learn car driving in initial stages he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to look at gear liver, which changing gear unfortunately he met with a minor accident and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
injuries. Though it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
,
however
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him rectify his error.
Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
may have sweet memories or lessons both would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us in either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way in later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of time.

On the other hand
,
Mainly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with a
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, they believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
it
The adverb 'never' is usually put after the verb 'being'.
never being
any value to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
present and
they have a strong belief that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
thoughts would ruin present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and future
as well
.

Even more, in case of any lose in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may stick to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
thoughts and become lunatic in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of time in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Hence
, they fail to follow recent happenings which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the outdated in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
they
are considered
as losers.
Moreover
, In fact, one of my colleagues lost his wife in an accident which made him completely depressed.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
he lost his focus on the job due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
distress thoughts about an accident
eventually
, he lost his job too.

I would like
to conclude
by stating that, From my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is the best teacher. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
is an open book it has both distress and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learnings
as well
utilizing them in the right part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is up to us. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learnings
desperately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to avoid cons and
also
have a fruitful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to travel alone, while the others think it is better to go together with someone. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
417 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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