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Nowadays everyone likes to travel Some people travel alone while others prefer to travel in a group Discuss both approaches Give your own opinion with relevant examples from your experience v.1

Nowadays everyone likes to travel Some people travel alone while others prefer to travel in a group 1
These days, many parents are concerned about their children who live apart from family. It is because the distance between home and university. I will examine the pros and cons of living with their families. To begin with, living with their families may be beneficial for children. Nowadays, a lot of apartments in front of universities require a high expense of rent fee, but they do not need to pay a rental fee if they live with their families. Consequently, their parent's money can be saved. Additionally, it is good for parents to know what their children do physically. They can monitor their children, which means children can be safe from hazard things at night as curfew is imposed by their parents for children. As per the statistics, some localities and areas have a higher crime rate than others. Some areas are proving to accident mainly due to the movement of heavy vehicles. Therefore, it can prevent from any accidents. On the other hand, children cannot gain experience. Let them live alone can get a lot of skills such as how to deal with their management and being independent or even they can improve the level of cook skill. As a result, they may too much rely on their parents and it can be hard to live by themselves even in the future. However, living away from parents gives them greater mobility and they are free to move into a different city for a better job. But children cannot be safe at night when they live alone. If they do not have curfew hour, most children is tending to arrive their home late and it exposures for children to try drugs or any violence. To sum up, living away from parents has many benefits, but it also has some drawbacks. Living with family is one of the effective way but it can disruption the development of children
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are concerned
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the distance between home and university. I will examine the pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their families.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
may be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
apartments in front of universities require a high expense of rent fee,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not need to pay a rental fee if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Consequently
, their parent's money can
be saved
.
Additionally
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to know what their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do
physically
. They can monitor their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be safe from hazard things at night as curfew
is imposed
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. As per the statistics,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
localities and areas have a higher crime rate than others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
areas are proving to accident
mainly
due to the movement of heavy vehicles.
Therefore
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
from any accidents.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot gain experience.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as how to deal with their management and being independent or even they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the level of cook
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
As a result
, they may too much rely on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
by themselves even in the future.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
gives them greater
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mobility and
they are free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
into a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
city for a better job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot be safe at night when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone. If they do not have curfew hour, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is tending to arrive their home late and
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'it'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
it exposures
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to try drugs or any violence.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is one of the effective way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can disruption the development of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
children
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Nowadays everyone likes to travel Some people travel alone while others prefer to travel in a group 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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