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whether movies and television carry more positive effects for young or more negative impacts v.1

whether movies and television carry more positive effects for young or more negative impacts v. 1
Now a days computers have become an essential part of our daily life. Many young children are using computers for a long time. This essay will discuss the positive and negative use of computers at an early age for a long period of time. Today, technology is everywhere and we cannot separate ourselves from it. The personal computer is one of those technologies which has made our life easier, faster and more comfortable than before. Even though we did not know anything about computer when we were young, our children are becoming familiar with this new invention of technology from a very young age. As a result, it has become easier for them to work with computer when they grow up. Therefore, they can do well in education and professional life as they have prior experience with computer related works. So in short, we can say that, the early use of computers has given our children a kick start to start their career. On the contrary, the overuse of computers can bring disaster to our children. It may harm their eyesight, can damage creative power, they may get addicted to computer games which in turn can affect their health. Some children are reported to become unsocial because of computers. Now a days social networking is also a huge concern for children as it is difficult to observe who is our children communicating with. To summarize, we can say that the early introduction of computers in our children's life has both advantages and disadvantages.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
computers have become an essential part of our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are using computers for a long time. This essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers at an early age for a long period of time.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, technology is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
everywhere and
we cannot separate ourselves from it. The personal computer is one of those technologies which has made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier, faster and more comfortable than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Even though
we did not know anything about computer when we were young, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are becoming familiar with this new invention of technology from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age.
As a result
, it has become easier for them to work with computer when they grow up.
Therefore
, they can do well in education and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as they have prior experience with computer related works.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in short, we can say that, the early
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a kick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their career.

On the contrary
, the overuse of computers can bring disaster to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It may harm their eyesight, can damage creative power, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to computer games which in turn can affect their health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are reported
to become unsocial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of computers.
Did you mean "nowadays"?
Now a days
social networking is
also
a huge concern for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as it is difficult to observe who is our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
communicating with.

To summarize
, we can say that the early introduction of computers in our children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has both advantages and disadvantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay whether movies and television carry more positive effects for young or more negative impacts v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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