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Some people like to read classic works of literarure. Others prefer watching film versions of the same stories. v.1

Some people like to read classic works of literarure. Others prefer watching film versions of the same stories. v. 1
Raising new buildings has become very popular these days. It is argued whether to spend the revenue on constructing buildings such as museums or town halls which are helpful for public or renovating the ones which are already present. This essay will illustrate the advantages of investing in new buildings. Firstly, bringing up a new structure like museum in a place which is accessible to people would be more convenient. Rather than renovating the existing museum, which is in the outskirts of the town, selecting a land which is reachable by more people will be beneficial for both public and the government. In addition, the government will be profitable with the innovation of new structures. The architecture of the recently built building will be much more attractive than the old ones, which attracts more visitors and leads to increase in profit and revenue to the society. For example, the design and architecture of the latest museum built in the centre of London were attractive which resulted in more visitors. On the other hand, the idea of renovating an existing building lead to economic loss, as it requires huge demolition. Demolishing a monument will have a negative impact on the economy of the country, as it involves more number of labours and machineries to undergo demolition. Thus, it is better to construct a new one without destructing the existing buildings. To conclude, due to convenience and profit, spending money on new buildings requires less overhead and is profitable for people and government.
Raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular these days. It
is argued
whether to spend the revenue on constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
or town halls which are helpful for public or renovating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
which are already present. This essay will illustrate the advantages of investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
buildings.

Firstly
, bringing up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
structure like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
in a place which is accessible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be more convenient.
Rather
than renovating the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
, which is in the outskirts of the town, selecting a land which is reachable by more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be beneficial for both public and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will be profitable with the innovation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
structures. The architecture of the recently built
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
will be much more attractive than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, which attracts more visitors and leads to increase in profit and revenue to the society.
For example
, the design and architecture of the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
built in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of London were attractive which resulted in more visitors.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of renovating an existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
lead to economic loss, as it requires huge demolition. Demolishing a monument will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the economy of the country, as it involves more number of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
to undergo demolition.
Thus
, it is better to construct a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one without destructing the existing buildings.

To conclude
, due to convenience and profit, spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
requires less overhead and is profitable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to read classic works of literarure. Others prefer watching film versions of the same stories. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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