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Some people like to cook their own meals at home. Others prefer to eat in a restaurant or a cafeteria. Which do you prefer and why? Include details and examples in your explanation. v.1

Some people like to cook their own meals at home. Others prefer to eat in a restaurant or a cafeteria. Which do you prefer and why? Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1
Although the arts play a fundamental role in a modern society, but some people think that artists should not be given full liberty of expressing their thoughts and ideas. Others believed that the inventor must get full autonomy of showing their creativity. It is a debatable. I agree to some extent with this statement and discuss both of views. To begin with, the artists play a crucial role in every Nation and the liberty of them is always an issue for authorities. Firstly, full autonomy of the artist may adverse effect on the individuals and Society. Such as, many times, some artists are painting any objectionable picture, adding any anti-social dialogue that resulted they hurt the sentiments of the public. Secondly, it may become a cause of the demise of some people. For example, once an inventor made a picture, in which, the gods of Hindu are begging. This causes, there was a great panic among the Hindus. Furthermore, sometimes, it has a some negative impact on teenagers and children. Because, some arts are bad, made by some bad artists. So, these arts create crime and violence in the society. On the other hand, there are some positive view of giving full freedom to the artists. Firstly, every artist can unveil all the social issues of the society without any fear because anyone could not force them to do not show their thoughts. Secondly, it is also helpful for the economy. Such as, they create masterpieces and bring recognition for every country on the map of the world. Furthermore, they can spread awareness through their arts. To sum up, although artists are required to give full Liberty for exploring their creativities but government ought to give freedom in limit, with which, they could not hurt others feelings.
Although the arts play a fundamental role in a modern society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
liberty of expressing their thoughts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. Others believed that the inventor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
autonomy of showing their creativity. It is
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a debatable
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent with this statement and discuss both of views.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
play a crucial role in every Nation and the liberty of them is always an issue for authorities.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
autonomy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
may adverse effect on the individuals and Society. Such as,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are painting any objectionable picture, adding any anti-social dialogue that resulted they hurt the sentiments of the public.
Secondly
, it may become a cause of the demise of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, once an inventor made a picture, in which, the gods of Hindu are begging. This causes, there was a great panic among the Hindus.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arts are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, made by
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some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
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artists
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, these arts create crime and violence in the society.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
view of giving
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full
freedom to the
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artists
.
Firstly
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
can unveil all the social issues of the society without any fear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
anyone could not force them to do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their thoughts.
Secondly
, it is
also
helpful for the economy. Such as, they create masterpieces and bring recognition for every country on the map of the world.
Furthermore
, they can spread awareness through their arts.

To sum up, although
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artists
are required
to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
full
Liberty for exploring their
Possible spelling mistake found.
creativities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to give freedom in limit, with which, they could not hurt others feelings.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to cook their own meals at home. Others prefer to eat in a restaurant or a cafeteria. Which do you prefer and why? Include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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