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Some people like to be with friends in their leisure time while others like to spend time alone. Which do you prefer and why? v.1

Some people like to be with friends in their leisure time while others like to spend time alone. Which do you prefer and why? v. 1
An emerging trend which has generated a widespread phenomenon in the retail market is e-commerce. As a result, shopping online has improved the traffic scene and air pollution, which has long been a thorny problem in a few decades. With that being said, what is also being affected by this trend is the businesses operating in brick and mortar methods. To look at the environmental aspect, the most important factor to consider is traffic and air pollution. If a normal individual drives his or her vehicles directly to the store to buy the thing they want to, the amount of scarce fossil fuels, such as gasoline, will be wasted and the volume of traffic will increase noticeably. Carbon dioxide emission, even worse, might get out of control, which adversely affects the population health as well as global temperature. Conversely, not only has e- commerce restored the hope of saving the environment, but the wide selection of good on an internet platform has also brought convenience together with satisfaction to the act of shopping. Instead of everyone having to directly drive to another location to pick up items, all we have to do is waiting at home while having someone delivers the item to our front door. Another aspect that deserves attention from the e - commerce phenomenon is the businesses. Unlike the form of selling online, whose display system is more and more elaborate and cutting-edge, the traditional retailer resources might be beaten by unsold stocks and struggling to cope with the high cost. Similarly, the combination of gradually increasing cost to lease retail space and decreasing amount of customer will drive businesses to bankruptcy. Assuming a shop owner wanted to design a website, which meets his or her needs, the tons of fee would be something overwhelming. On the other hand, there are a lot of offers from the online market, including voucher, gift card or free delivery, can easily attract loyal and prospective buyers. In conclusion, online shopping is on the rise, and this trend brings both advantages and disadvantages to the environment and employment.
An emerging trend which has generated a widespread phenomenon in the retail market is e-commerce.
As a result
, shopping
online
has
improved
the traffic scene and air pollution, which has long been a thorny problem in a few decades. With that
being said
, what is
also
being
affected
by this trend is the businesses operating in brick and mortar methods.

To look at the environmental aspect, the most
important
factor to consider is traffic and air pollution. If a normal individual drives
his or her
vehicles
directly
to the store to
buy
the thing they want to, the amount of scarce fossil fuels, such as gasoline, will
be wasted
and the volume of traffic will increase
noticeably
. Carbon dioxide emission, even worse, might
get
out of control, which
adversely
affects the population health
as well
as global temperature.
Conversely
, not
only
has e- commerce restored the hope of saving the environment,
but
the wide selection of
good
on an internet platform has
also
brought convenience together with satisfaction to the act of shopping.
Instead
of everyone having to
directly
drive to another location to pick up items, all we
have to
do is waiting at home while having someone delivers the item to our front door.

Another aspect that deserves attention from the e
-
commerce phenomenon is the businesses. Unlike the form of selling
online
, whose display system is more and more elaborate and cutting-edge, the traditional retailer resources might
be beaten
by unsold stocks and struggling to cope with the high cost.
Similarly
, the combination of
gradually
increasing cost to lease retail space and decreasing amount of customer will drive businesses to bankruptcy. Assuming a shop owner wanted to design a website, which meets
his or her
needs, the tons of fee would be something overwhelming.
On the other hand
, there are
a lot of
offers from the
online
market, including voucher, gift card or free delivery, can
easily
attract loyal and prospective buyers.

In conclusion
,
online
shopping is on the rise, and this trend brings both advantages and disadvantages to the environment and employment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like to be with friends in their leisure time while others like to spend time alone. Which do you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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