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Some people like humorous stories that make them laugh. Other prefer stories that are more serious and make them think. Which one you prefer? v.1

Some people like humorous stories that make them laugh. Other prefer stories that are more serious and make them think. Which one you prefer? v. 1
The similarities among the people on the globe are rising, as the purchase of goods became convenient worldwide. In my opinion, this has led to many beneficial impacts with few drawbacks. This essay will describe equality and social cohesion as positive aspects followed by disappearing local cultures as a hazard. One major beneficial role of the countries coming close together is that the people are becoming equal. They have opportunities to have the same dress, education and other goods. So, the old day discrimination is fading away. This brings the people from far off places in similar thought process and the sense of the comparison is prevailing. For instance, 70% of the students in the UK universities have a resemblance in their lifestyles despite their multi ethnic backgrounds. Another advantage of having identical items and necessities, is social cohesion. With more advanced communication, the residents of various societies have learned the universal language, hence they now more often communicate with each other. Resultantly, inhabitants of different areas have become friends with more cooperation and contact. This has converted the world into a universal town. To exemplify, I myself have lots of friends in the UK and the US. However, in spite of the major benefits mentioned above, one drawback is that the local cultures are dying out because of this worldly phenomenon. Local customs are being overwhelmed by multinational trends in all the walks of life, including how to talk, how to dress up. An example is this regard is that Punjabi dance is rarely seen nowadays. In conclusion, as a result of the modern transition causing more closeness in the communities, societies are looking alike with more relationships but with a minor negative effect on domestic livings.
The similarities among the
people
on the globe are rising, as the
purchase
of
goods
became convenient worldwide. In my opinion, this has led to
many
beneficial impacts with few drawbacks. This essay will
describe
equality and social cohesion as
positive
aspects followed by disappearing local cultures as a hazard.

One major beneficial role of the countries coming close together is that the
people
are becoming equal. They have opportunities to have the same dress, education and other
goods
.
So
, the
old
day discrimination is fading away. This brings the
people
from far off places in similar
thought
process and the sense of the comparison is prevailing.
For instance
, 70% of the students in the UK universities have a resemblance in their lifestyles despite their
multi ethnic
backgrounds.

Another advantage of having identical items and necessities, is social cohesion. With more advanced communication, the residents of various societies have learned the universal language,
hence
they
now
more
often
communicate with each other.
Resultantly
, inhabitants of
different
areas have become friends with more cooperation and contact. This has converted the world into a universal town. To exemplify, I myself have lots of friends in the UK and the US.

However
,
in spite of
the major benefits mentioned above, one drawback is that the local cultures are dying out
because of this
worldly phenomenon. Local customs are
being overwhelmed
by multinational trends in all the walks of life, including how to talk, how to dress up. An example is this regard is that Punjabi dance is rarely
seen
nowadays.

In conclusion
,
as a result
of the modern transition causing more closeness in the communities, societies are looking alike with more relationships
but
with a minor
negative
effect on domestic livings.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people like humorous stories that make them laugh. Other prefer stories that are more serious and make them think. Which one you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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