Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people believed the increasing fuel cost may reduce the traffic congestion and air pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree> v.1

Many people believed the increasing fuel cost may reduce the traffic congestion and air pollution. > v. 1
The increasing amount of rampage that is shown regularly in films has been a cause of concern for some time. Such films make disturbance appear entertaining, exciting and even something to be copied. However, it seems to be increasingly clear that this development is causing problems in our society. First of all, those who enjoy such films eventually stop associating the brutality with any real consequences. They therefore lose their sense of reality and no longer take confusion seriously or have any sympathy with the victims. This is bad for both individuals and for our whole society. Another worrying trend is that in these films the heroes are shown as people to be admired, even though they are very violent characters. This leads impressionable people to believe that they can gain respect and admiration by copying this aggressive behaviour, and so the levels of clash increase, especially in major cities throughout the world. What is needed to combat these problems is definite action. The government should regulate the film industry on the one hand, and provide better education on the other. Producers must be prevented from showing meaningless rampage as 'fun' in their films. Instead, films could emphasise the tragic consequences of violent acts and this would educate people, especially young people, to realise that rampage is real. To conclude, I think that viewing fighting as entertainment may indeed cause serious social problems and that the only way to improve this situation is by regulating the industry and educating the public about the real human suffering that such confusion brings.
The increasing amount of rampage that
is shown
regularly
in films has been a cause of concern for
some
time. Such films
make
disturbance appear entertaining, exciting and even something to
be copied
.
However
, it seems to be
increasingly
clear
that this development is causing problems in our society.

First of all
, those who enjoy such films
eventually
stop
associating the brutality with any real consequences. They
therefore
lose their sense of reality and no longer take confusion
seriously
or have any sympathy with the victims. This is
bad
for both individuals and for our whole society. Another worrying trend is that in these films the heroes
are shown
as
people
to
be admired
,
even though
they are
very
violent characters. This leads impressionable
people
to believe that they can gain respect and admiration by copying this aggressive
behaviour
, and
so
the levels of clash increase,
especially
in major cities throughout the world.

What
is needed
to combat these problems is
definite
action. The
government
should regulate the film industry on the one hand, and provide better education on the other. Producers
must
be
prevented
from showing meaningless rampage as 'fun' in their films.
Instead
, films could
emphasise
the tragic consequences of violent acts and this would educate
people
,
especially
young
people
, to
realise
that rampage is real.

To conclude
, I
think
that viewing fighting as entertainment may
indeed
cause serious social problems and that the
only
way to
improve
this situation is by regulating the industry and educating the public about the real human suffering that such confusion brings.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believed the increasing fuel cost may reduce the traffic congestion and air pollution. > v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts