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some people keep in touch with their friends and family by letter and e-mail others prefer telephone. which way do you prefer and why. include details and examples in your explanation. v.1

some people keep in touch with their friends and family by letter and e-mail others prefer telephone. which way do you prefer and why. include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1
Environmental problems have become serious and drawn widespread attention in worldwide. There is a debate on whether the action of deal with these issues should be taken by the country or the worldwide. In my opinion, I am convinced that every human has the responsibility for these problems, therefore, the action should be carried by everyone on earth. There are a large number of environmental problems appearing in the past decade including climate change due to rubbish dump. Global warming is one of the biggest impacts caused by climate change. It is a common belief that there is no single nation has the ability to change this situation. Experts from all over the world are putting efforts into this issue. Various environmental organisations appeal to the public to helping to deal with it in terms of using renewable energy and less CO2 emission. Additionally, rubbish recycling is one of the solutions to save the earth. Lots of governments have issued the regulation about stop using plastic bags. Furthermore, some coastal countries are trying to prevent and restrict rubbish being dumped into the ocean. On the other hand, there are some problems only occurring in certain country, such as haze and bush fire. The main action only can be taken inside in the nation. However, it does not mean that outsiders cannot help those countries. For example, there are bush fires happening in Australia since November 2019. It has already been causing not only thousands of animals have died and houses are being burnt down, but also polluted the air and ocean. Australia government and citizens are putting all their efforts to put out a fire, meanwhile, people from other countries donated money for saving local animals and other firefighting business. In conclusion, there is not a country or organization should deal with environmental problems alone, regardless of the problems happened in a country or worldwide. Everyone should contribute to solve them together.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
have become serious and drawn widespread attention in worldwide. There is a debate on whether the action of deal with these issues should
be taken
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or the worldwide. In my opinion, I
am convinced
that every human has the responsibility for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
therefore
, the action should
be carried
by everyone on earth.

There are
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
appearing in the past decade including climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
due to rubbish dump. Global warming is one of the biggest impacts caused by climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. It is a common belief that there is no single nation has the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this situation. Experts from all over the world are putting efforts into this issue. Various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
appeal to the public to helping to deal with it in terms of using renewable energy and less CO2 emission.
Additionally
, rubbish recycling is one of the solutions to save the earth. Lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have issued the regulation about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
using plastic bags.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
coastal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
and restrict rubbish
being dumped
into the ocean.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
occurring in certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, such as haze and bush fire. The main action
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
be taken
inside in the nation.
However
, it does not mean that outsiders cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
, there are bush fires happening in Australia since November 2019. It has already been causing not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thousands of animals have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are
being burnt
down,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
polluted the air and ocean. Australia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and citizens are putting all their efforts to put out a fire, meanwhile,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
donated money for saving local animals and other firefighting business.

In conclusion
, there is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
should deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
alone, regardless of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
happened in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or worldwide. Everyone should contribute to solve them together.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay some people keep in touch with their friends and family by letter and e-mail others prefer telephone. which way do you prefer and why. include details and examples in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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