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Some people have one career throughout their lives. Other people do different kind of work at different points in their lives. Which do you prefer? Explain why. v.1

Some people have one career throughout their lives. Other people do different kind of work at different points in their lives. Which do you prefer? Explain why. v. 1
There is often a dichotomy in opinion on whether money is the best present to give adolescents or not. Few people feel that it is good while others have contradictory views. In my opinion, giving presents to teenagers is better than monetary gift, as it will generate more feelings of love and closeness. Firstly, giving money to teenagers enables them purchase their preferred products and gifts as adults may buy simple traditional gifts for them, which they might not like. Secondly, the adult buying the gift might not check or know about some particular features while buying the gift and this features missing can make the gift useless to the receiver. Hence, money should be given to teenagers, so that they can buy anything they want after checking the pros and cons. For example, when I was un high school, my cousin gifted a mobile phone to me which did not have the latest features like touch screen and front camera and I was not happy with it. Nevertheless, gifts serves as a reminder of the person who presented the gift and whenever the receiver looks at the present, he remembers the person. Therefore, in my opinion, money as a gift cannot take the place of presents in kind, as people often forget about cash presents. For instance, I always remember my aunt whenever I see the shoe she gifted me. Furthermore, gifts shows that the giver remembered the receiver and made efforts to show it to the receiver. In conclusion, it is argued by some that money is the best present to give a teenager while some have contradictory views. In my opinion, gifts are the present to give a teenager as it help to foster closeness and helps the receiver remember the giver.
There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
a dichotomy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
on whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
to give adolescents or not. Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
while others have contradictory views. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
is better than monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
, as it will generate more feelings of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and closeness.

Firstly
, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
enables them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their preferred products and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
as adults may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
simple traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
for them, which they might not like.
Secondly
, the adult buying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
might not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
or know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular features while buying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
and this features missing can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
useless to the receiver.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything they want after checking the pros and cons.
For example
, when I was
Possible spelling mistake found.
un
high school, my cousin gifted a mobile phone to me which did not have the latest features like touch screen and front
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
camera and
I was not happy with it.

Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
serves as a reminder of the person who presented the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
and whenever the receiver looks at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
, he remembers the person.
Therefore
, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
cannot take the place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
in kind, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
forget about cash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
.
For instance
, I always remember my aunt whenever I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the shoe she gifted me.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the giver remembered the receiver and made efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
it to the receiver.

In conclusion
, it
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
to give a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have contradictory views. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
to give a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to foster closeness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the receiver remember the giver.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people have one career throughout their lives. Other people do different kind of work at different points in their lives. Which do you prefer? Explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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