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Some people give that competitive sports are good for bringing together different people and cultures. Others argue that these sports can cause problems and can increase conflicts between the nations. Discuss both point of view and give your opinion. v.2

Some people give that competitive sports are good for bringing together different people and cultures. Others argue that these sports can cause problems and can increase conflicts between the nations. v. 2
Nowadays, there has been a positive trend that sports has gained popularity in society. One of the most controversial issue today relates to that, competitive sports; either bring people together or increase conflict between nations? In this essay, I am going to explore all the dimensions of the given topic through assertions and examples and shape up my opinion by the end. First step to understand that, why some people think that competitive sports is increasing conflict among nations? The prominent reason is fights between players or supporters. It has been seen that in sports players fight and argue on the field in aggression for winning. Similarly, it has been also seen that people who are supporting there favorite players often fight or argue with each other. Sometimes, these fights end with disappointment among players and can also become the reason for division of people. For instance, in a report of sports tournament it is shown that players often fight on the field and this can be the reason for the aggression they show on ground for each other. However, there are some people who believe that, sports competition bring people together from different cultures and nations; why do they think so? The first and foremost reason is tourism. There are plethora of people who travel distinct places to watch different sports events such as, cricket, football, hockey or Olympic games. Moreover, these events give a chance to different people from several countries to know about each others language, nature and many other habits. In the meantime while people are watching match they can also interact with each other and can share different ideas. Likewise, these types of events also make strong communication among the people of various places. Further more, it has been seen in between many players who build strong relationships with there opponents. In conclusion, I tend to believe that, competitive sports events are significant because these are the main platforms which give chance to people for interacting with different age groups and traveling to distinct places which can build strong communication throughout countries.
Nowadays, there has been a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has gained popularity in society. One of the most controversial issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to that, competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
; either bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together or increase conflict between nations? In this essay, I am going to explore all the dimensions of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic through assertions and examples and shape up my opinion by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

First
step to understand that, why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is increasing conflict among nations? The prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fights
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
or supporters. It has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fight
and argue on the field in aggression for winning.
Similarly
, it has been
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are supporting there favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fight
or argue with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fights
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
with disappointment among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
and can
also
become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for division of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, in a report of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
tournament it
is shown
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fight
on the field and this can be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for the aggression they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
on ground for each other.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
competition bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and nations; why do they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
? The
first
and foremost
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reason
is tourism. There are plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
travel distinct places to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
such as, cricket, football, hockey or
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Olympic games
.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
give a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from several countries to know about each
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "others'" or "other's"?
others
language, nature and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
habits. In the meantime while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are watching match they can
also
interact with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and can share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Likewise
, these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strong communication among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of various places.
Further
more, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
build strong relationships with
Did you mean "their"?
there
opponents.

In conclusion
, I tend to believe that, competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are the main platforms which give chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
age groups and traveling to distinct places which can build strong communication throughout countries.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people give that competitive sports are good for bringing together different people and cultures. Others argue that these sports can cause problems and can increase conflicts between the nations. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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