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Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems? v.6

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems? v. 6
In recent years, problems related to water quality has become one of the most serious global issues. This essay will analyze the culprits behind these situations and recommend several solutions to tackle them. The shortage of pure water in some regions in the world is believed to be the consequence of numerous factors. Firstly, although water is provided abundantly in major cities, there are still remote places where the local residents do not have access to freshwater resources. For example, in the countryside of Vietnam, the inhabitants are in grave danger of conducting severe diseases owing to poor water hygiene and hundreds of people are killed every year. Secondly, the water-processing procedure in some companies is not supervised carefully by the government. As a result, the water is still contaminated and may do harm to human health. Being aware of the existing elements leading to the shortage of freshwater supply, a myriad of measures which are proposed to solve the problem. First and foremost, the government should pay more attention to remote regions and provide the local residents sufficient fresh water periodically. Moreover, water products manufactures should be supervised thoroughly by governmental staff to ensure the standard water quality of their products. In conclusion, although some problems related to poor water quality are caused by various factors and become more and more serious in contemporary society, plenty of solutions are believed to tackle these situations effectively. In addition, each country is advisable to carry out a flexible plan in order to adapt to certain areas.
In recent years, problems related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
quality has become one of the most serious global issues. This essay will analyze the culprits behind these situations and recommend several solutions to tackle them.

The shortage of pure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regions in the world
is believed
to be the consequence of numerous factors.
Firstly
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is provided
abundantly
in major cities, there are
still
remote places where the local residents do not have access to freshwater resources.
For example
, in the countryside of Vietnam, the inhabitants are in grave
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of conducting severe diseases owing to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
hygiene and hundreds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are killed
every year.
Secondly
, the water-processing procedure in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
is not supervised
carefully
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
still
contaminated and may do harm to human health.

Being aware of the existing elements leading to the shortage of freshwater supply, a myriad of measures which
are proposed
to solve the problem.
First
and foremost, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pay more attention to remote regions and provide the local residents sufficient fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
periodically
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
products manufactures should
be supervised
thoroughly
by governmental staff to ensure the standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
quality of their products.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems related to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
quality
are caused
by various factors and become more and more serious in contemporary society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of solutions
are believed
to tackle these situations
effectively
.
In addition
, each country is advisable to carry out a flexible plan in order to adapt to certain areas.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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