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Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? v.13

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? v. 13
Youngsters today, ought to bug exorbitantly expensive stuff which, in most of the scenarios, is not a necessity for them or they cannot justify their purchase. This is due to peer pressure and it can be prevented if parents educate them properly. Most juveniles expect that their parents should get them latest expensive gadgets such as mobile phones and gaming consoles because their other friends own the same things. Hence, to show off and to be at par with other acquaintances, they demand for such items. A recent research concluded that most of the issues occurring between children and their parents these days are due to the high rising demands of the minors for expensive digital things, which was not the case two decades ago. To solve the present issue, parents must educate their children about the importance as well as the right time to own such items. They should emphasize on moral values and give less importance to materialistic thins and this is only possible if they themselves follow the same fundamentals. For instance, in India, every child is taught these values from a very young age, and therefore, this issue does not persist there. In conclusion, many people tend to buy stuff that is not needed by them or they cannot afford as they want to show their affluence to the society. Conversely, this is not a good practice and can be stopped if parents teach the value of being a good human being than the happiness of buying these things.
Youngsters
today
, ought to bug
exorbitantly
expensive stuff which, in most of the scenarios, is not a necessity for
them or
they cannot justify their
purchase
. This is due to peer pressure and it can be
prevented
if
parents
educate them
properly
.

Most juveniles
expect
that their
parents
should
get
them
latest
expensive gadgets such as mobile phones and gaming consoles
because
their other friends
own
the same things.
Hence
, to
show
off and to be at par with other acquaintances, they demand for such items. A recent research concluded that most of the issues occurring between children and their
parents
these days are due to the high rising demands of the minors for expensive digital things, which was not the case two decades ago.

To solve the present issue,
parents
must
educate their children about the importance
as well
as the right time to
own
such items. They should emphasize on moral values and give less importance to materialistic thins and this is
only
possible if they themselves follow the same fundamentals.
For instance
, in India, every child
is taught
these values from a
very
young age, and
therefore
, this issue does not persist there.

In conclusion
,
many
people
tend to
buy
stuff
that is
not needed by
them or
they cannot afford as they want to
show
their affluence to the society.
Conversely
, this is not a
good
practice and can be
stopped
if
parents
teach the value of being a
good
human being than the happiness of buying these things.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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