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Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem v.12

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem v. 12
Nowadays people are choosing to their desires and usually they are being competitive and jealous of whom is better than them in life. They often miss out what they actually need, but just focus on what they have to compare with others. That's why some people get into bad debt by many ways. Since their desires are too much so they just want what other has. For instance, a person with all about jealousy and desire looking at someone who richer than him and owning so many assets. He will definitely start to compare and want all the things that the latter has, but actually he has nothing since he is not as rich as the one. That's why he needs to loan some amount of money to buy things that he cannot afford at first, and it leads to bad debts as he cannot repay any debts. This behaviour is so badly done as he has too much desire and ambitious which cause him bad consequences. According to Buddha, people are having three biggest things that need to be eliminated, there are greed, hatred and ignorance. Greed is a form of desire and that is the cause of suffering a great misery. One way that people can remove this great misery is practising how to calm down when desire coming up on people's mind. Another way to prevent getting into debts is not buying things on credit and do not buy things that you know you cannot afford it. Avoiding loan some debts that you cannot repay. People who are giving loan need to consider the person that lend your money can repay or not. If they can repay your money after lending so let they lend, but if not, then you should not allow them to lend even a dollar. In conclusions, you have lend people some things and definitely you have to repay the same things, that's is one of the rules in life which you cannot deniable. Therefore, just doing something that you can and avoid things that you cannot.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are choosing to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
and
usually
they are being competitive and jealous of whom is better than
In formal / written English, it is recommended that you use a subject pronoun.
them
in life. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
miss out what they actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on what they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compare with others. That's why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debt
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

Since their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desires
are too much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want what other has.
For instance
, a person with all about jealousy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desire
looking at someone who richer than him and owning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
assets. He will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to compare and want all the things that the latter has,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
actually he has nothing since he is not as rich as the one. That's why he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to loan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things that he cannot afford at
first
, and it leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debts
as he cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repay
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debts
. This
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
badly
done as he has too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desire
and ambitious which cause him
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences.

According to Buddha,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having three biggest things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be eliminated
, there
are greed
, hatred and ignorance. Greed is a form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desire
and
that is
the cause of suffering a great misery. One way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can remove this great misery is
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
how to calm down when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desire
coming up on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mind. Another way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
getting into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debts
is not buying things on credit and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things that you know you cannot afford it. Avoiding loan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debts
that you cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repay
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who are giving loan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to consider the person that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lend
your money can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repay
or not. If they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repay
your money after lending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lend
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if not, then you should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lend
even a dollar.

In conclusions, you have
Use past participle here: "lent".
lend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things and definitely you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
repay
the same things,
Did you mean "that is"?
that's is
one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in life which you
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
cannot deniable
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
doing something that you can and avoid things that you cannot.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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