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In many places new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build homes there. What is your opinion about this? v.21

In many places new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 21
In the salad days of millenniums, the society is polarised into two Graphs equally regarding to the notion that, a lot of Masses Say that human beings should build New Cottage at empty space available for building in rural areas. While, others say that we should protect our ruler site and not build new accommodation there. Different people have their distinct mindset. The following paragraphs would shed light on the both approaches before making the final sheets. To commence with the first notion that, there are myriad things in its favour of building new homes at Countryside. First and foremost, if individuals can build their house in rural areas for living. As a result, there will be decline in traffic problems in cities. Secondly, when there will be people make new homes in ruler sides. Consequently, it will be beneficial For the native ruler people and there has some development in that area also. As for further, the countryside folks standard living is becoming better. Shifting towards the second school of thought. However, protecting an environment is becoming Prevailing concern in nowadays because the village side area is pure for local human to live there. If masses is shifted to Rular site, they build unnecessary homes there. Moreover, it makes poor quality of land for fertilising the crops. Therefore, it also Make their air level poor. Hence, the local people find difficult to live with urban people because of their waste material thrown anywhere. Hammering the last nail, I personally feel that it's depends on People mindset where they want to build a new house for living. Some efforts should make for Equal balance between urban and rural sides and people should leave in under some precautions.
In the salad days of millenniums, the society is
Possible spelling mistake. 'polarised' is British English.
polarised
into two Graphs
equally
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
the notion that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Masses Say that human beings should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
Cottage at empty space available for building in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. While, others say that we should protect our ruler site and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
accommodation there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their distinct mindset. The following paragraphs would shed light on the both approaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making the final sheets.

To commence with the
first
notion that, there are myriad things in its
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
homes at Countryside.
First
and foremost, if individuals can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for living.
As a result
, there will be decline in traffic problems in cities.
Secondly
, when there will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
homes in ruler sides.
Consequently
, it will be beneficial For the native ruler
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and there has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
development in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
also
. As for
further
, the countryside folks standard living is becoming better.

Shifting towards the second school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.
However
, protecting an environment is becoming Prevailing concern
nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: "nowadays".
in nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the village side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is pure for local human to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there. If masses
is shifted
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rular
site, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
unnecessary homes there.
Moreover
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
poor quality of land for
Possible spelling mistake. 'fertilising' is British English.
fertilising
the crops.
Therefore
, it
also
Did you mean "makes"?
Make
their air level poor.
Hence
, the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their waste material thrown anywhere.

Hammering the last nail, I
personally
feel that it's depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
mindset where they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for living.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
efforts should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
for Equal balance between urban and rural sides and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
in under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precautions.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In many places new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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