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Some people feel unsafe when they are in public and at home What are the possible causes of this and what are some possible solutions v.2

Some people feel unsafe when they are in public and at home What are the possible causes of this and what are some possible solutions v. 2
Certain individuals have an opnion that they are prone to danger not only in their house but also outside. This essay will discuss the causes associated with this phenomenon and suggest viable solutions. The causes the society becoming more insecure are people living below the poverty line as well as alchohol and drug abuse. People in many metropolitan countries live a poor life, that is they do not have enough money to meet their basic needs such as food clothing and shelter. Poor people do not have any other means to earn money in order to meet the needs of their family rather than to indulge in criminal activities, thus making the lives of other people at high- risk. To elucidate, according to the recent study India is ranked in 10th position for the most unsafe place to live because of criminal activities because it consist of a majority of population of poor and unprivelaged society. The solutions to these worrying causes is that people should not only be motivated but they also should be informed about the importance of education. They should be provided with free school education in order to enhance their knowledge so that they are able to understand between right and wrong. Furthermore, employment opportunities should be provided to them so that they can earn money by working hard. These methods will help to increase not only the literacy rate but will also elevate job opportunities and thus reducing the crime rate. To exemplify, many non-profit organisations are working towards providing education to children and adoloscents in order to increase the literacy rate. To conclude, the main causes of increase in crime is poor, deprived and needy people and this can be solved by providing them with good job opportunities and basic school education. It is recommended that governemnt should motivate people to study and enhance their knowledhge as this will aid in decreasing the crime rate in country.
Certain individuals have an
Possible spelling mistake found.
opnion
that they are prone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
outside. This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
associated with this phenomenon and suggest viable solutions.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
the society becoming more insecure are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living below the poverty line
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
alchohol
and drug abuse.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
metropolitan countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
life,
that is
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their basic needs such as food clothing and shelter.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have any other means to earn money in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the needs of their family
rather
than to indulge in criminal activities,
thus
making the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. To elucidate, according to the recent study India
is ranked
in 10th position for the most unsafe place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of criminal activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "consists"?
consist
of a majority of population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
unprivelaged
society.

The solutions to these worrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be motivated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
should
be informed
about the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. They should
be provided
with free school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in order to enhance their knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are able to understand between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Furthermore
, employment opportunities should
be provided
to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can earn money by working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. These methods will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the literacy rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
elevate job opportunities and
thus
reducing the crime rate. To exemplify,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
non-profit
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
are working towards providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to children and
Possible spelling mistake found.
adoloscents
in order to increase the literacy rate.

To conclude
, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of increase in crime is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
, deprived and needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and this can
be solved
by providing them with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job opportunities and basic school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. It
is recommended
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
governemnt
should motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to study and enhance their
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledhge
as this will aid in decreasing the crime rate in country.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people feel unsafe when they are in public and at home What are the possible causes of this and what are some possible solutions v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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