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Some people feel unsafe when they are in public and at home. What are the possible causes for this and what are some possible solutions? v.3

Some people feel unsafe when they are in public and at home. What are the possible causes for this and what are some possible solutions? v. 3
Few people are insecure irrespective of the fact that they are at home or out in the public places. This essay will firstly discuss the possible reason to the negative thoughts, and later will discuss the viable solutions to address the matter. To begin with, major contributors for a person not being confident could be, too much of the violent crime coverage by media and viral information on social media platforms. Media is focusing too much on negativity, it is making news to increase their TRPs, in addition to that, social media has also become a tool to spread viral news like a fire. For example, recently, cross boarder issue news in India, spread among people, this influenced many to assume that they are not in a safe environment since social media and press were constantly covering the chain of incidents. Although the situation is such, people should choose a right source of information and media should be careful to release news, these two initiatives would make citizens feel they are safe. Looking at the positive aspects of their surroundings and reading news from reliable source instead of watching news channels that are merely running for business or viral videos online, would enable one to trust and have secured feeling. For instance, a newspaper called 'The Better India ' publishes all the positive news about growth, news readers cheer up and feel confident about their country. In conclusion, though one is in a place which has positivity and negativity around, it is one's choice to perceive the positive or negative aspect. Even though, there are crimes happening, on the other hand, if people can learn to focus on the developmental factors, they would not have any disillusion, but will build trust in the society they are living in.
Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are insecure irrespective of the fact that they are at home or out in the public places. This essay will
firstly
discuss the possible reason to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts, and later will discuss the viable solutions to address the matter.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, major contributors for a person not being confident could be, too much of the violent crime coverage by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and viral information on social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
You should probably use: "are" or "were".
is
focusing too much on negativity, it is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to increase their
Possible spelling mistake found.
TRPs
,
in addition
to that, social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
also
become a tool to spread viral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
like a fire.
For example
, recently, cross boarder issue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in India, spread among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, this influenced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to assume that they are not in a safe environment since social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and press were
constantly
covering the chain of incidents.

Although the situation is such,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should choose a right source of information and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should be careful to release
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, these two initiatives would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
citizens feel they are safe. Looking at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of their surroundings and reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from reliable source
instead
of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels that are
merely
running for business or viral videos online, would enable one to trust and have secured feeling.
For instance
, a newspaper called 'The Better India
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
'
publishes all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about growth,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
readers cheer up and feel confident about their country.

In conclusion
, though one is in a place which has positivity and negativity around, it is one's choice to perceive the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect.
Even though
, there are crimes happening,
on the other hand
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn to focus on the developmental factors, they would not have any disillusion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will build trust in the society they are living in.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people feel unsafe when they are in public and at home. What are the possible causes for this and what are some possible solutions? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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