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Some people feel that TV advertisements have no functional use for viewers, others disagree. What is your opinion? v.1

Some people feel that TV advertisements have no functional use for viewers, others disagree. What is your opinion? v. 1
The technology has invaded into almost every space that it is not unrealistic to presume that artificial intelligence would replace humans in the workplace. Though such a change is possible in the commercial and manufacturing sectors, robots and computers cannot take over some jobs which require human interactions such as those in the fields of health care and academics. To begin with, artificial intelligence cannot replace certain occupations in the medical field which demand empathy and a therapeutic touch. For instance, robots cannot substitute a nurse who can care for a suffering human being holistically because it is a complex process involving ethics and human rights. Furthermore, in such jobs, safety is a key concern and a critically ill patient cannot be left with a machine, unsupervised. On the other hand, in the case of tasks which need accuracy and precise calculations, such as construction and banking, artificial intelligence would be beneficial. Thus, it is seen that sophisticated technology can dominate some realms while it has several limitations in others Similarly, teaching is another area where artificially intelligent robots could be a failure. Because this job requires keen observation and command over each student, it would not be possible for a programmed machine to give individual attention to the pupils. While using robots would not be fruitful in face to face teaching, it could be useful in more complex simulative studies and scientific researches where manual interference could be detrimental. For example, robots are launched in spaceships to collect data from extraterrestrial planets and spaces, where direct human contact would be fatal. Therefore, it can be inferred that artificial intelligence cannot be implemented in jobs where human contact is important, but is undoubtedly productive in advanced and technically complicated assignments. To conclude, application of artificial intelligence has its own boundaries. It can dominate in several fields, but it cannot rule over each and every sector where manual operations are necessary.
The technology has invaded into almost every space that it is not unrealistic to presume that artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
would replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in the workplace. Though such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is possible in the commercial and manufacturing sectors, robots and computers cannot take over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
interactions such as those in the fields of health care and academics.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
cannot replace certain occupations in the medical field which demand empathy and a therapeutic touch.
For instance
, robots cannot substitute a nurse who can care for a suffering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being
holistically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a complex process involving ethics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
rights.
Furthermore
, in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, safety is a key concern and a
critically
ill patient cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with a machine, unsupervised.
On the other hand
, in the case of tasks which need accuracy and precise calculations, such as construction and banking, artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
would be beneficial.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that sophisticated technology can dominate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
realms while it has several limitations in others

Similarly
, teaching is another area where
artificially
intelligent robots could be a failure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requires keen observation and command over each student, it would not be possible for a programmed machine to give individual attention to the pupils. While using robots would not be fruitful in face to face teaching, it could be useful in more complex
Possible spelling mistake found.
simulative
studies and scientific researches where manual interference could be detrimental.
For example
, robots
are launched
in spaceships to collect data from extraterrestrial planets and spaces, where direct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
contact would be fatal.
Therefore
, it can
be inferred
that artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
cannot
be implemented
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
contact is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is
undoubtedly
productive in advanced and
technically
complicated assignments.

To conclude
, application of artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
boundaries. It can dominate in several fields,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
over each and every sector where manual operations are necessary.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people feel that TV advertisements have no functional use for viewers, others disagree. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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